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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Agents of Shield will return next year.


Get back on the front line soldier! Network Television is WAR.
I've said it once and I'll say it again, I'm a critic whore. If people say something's not worth checking out, I will believe every word I read. But once in a while I stare at the crowd of unimpressed critics aghast.

Agents of Shield was never Shakespeare, but good lord people jumped ship in a hurry. I couldn't blame them at first. Initially it was rough as a dirt road. I rolled my eyes at the sexy Colombian war lord, I winced at Coulson's flying car, and Skye was a Mary Sue for half of the season. But the scripts were witty and the acting was solid. I also had to admit this was the best show about espionage since ALIAS. From an acting stand point alone it positively blew ALIAS out of the damn water.

So that was the metric I gauged it against for the whole season "Is this as unbearable as the first season of ALIAS?" For the most part it was. They settled into a grove 12 episodes in and the fallout of The Winter Soldier kicked things into 3rd gear for the remaining 6. It's a solid show I feel isn't getting the credit it deserves. This is damn good pop fluff, guys. The fancy three flavor kind you get at fancy grocery stores at Christmas. It's not as good as we all hoped it'd be, but I'm absolutely jacked for season 2. I hope some of you will give the second chance I think it richly deserves.

But yeah... Deathlok's costume is FUH. KING. Corny.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Fargo Review: It's pretty good, don-cha-know?


Breaking Bad ended quite a few months ago and I felt I was let down gently. I'm not exactly dying to fill a Walter White shaped hole in my heart. But I'm always on the look out for quality, and the buzz around the new mini series was good. I think it was because I hadn't been looking so hard for the next big thing (which is Hannibal) that Fargo got to me. It's good. Really, really, good. It feels like the work of budding talent that aren't just parroting Fargo, but have taken apart and reassembled it into something just as interesting.

I've been to Minnesota many times in my life, my mother grew up in Edina, but I can't say I remember much about it. I was 10 the last time I was there, it was always in the summer, and nobody had a particularly thick accent. So the Coen brother's Fargo was just as foreign to me as it must have been to most of you.


"No, I was the English Jim from the other offi- ...You know what? I'm sick of explaining this to you yanks."


Familiar beats from the inaugural film remain. There's a brow beaten man turning to a life of violence, mysterious vagrants stirring up more violence, and a strong female lead in law enforcement. But it's obvious from the get go that this is a format that can work for a lot of stories... hence the fact this is now an anthology series.

We open on Lester Nygard (Martin Freeman who's also nailing the accent) sharing a massive bowl of tomato soup with his wife, who nonchalantly (and oh so politely) calls him half the man his younger brother is. Well that's not true, we actually open on something much stranger, but I'll let you see that for yourself.

Does this feel ominous to you? I was going for ominous...
From what I know of Minnesotans (my mother) they are aggressively positive and polite to a fault. This politeness in my mother's case is, more often than not, slathered in mean spirited sarcasm. Everyone's dismissal of  Lester's machismo hit much closer to home than I expected. The casual racism Lester endures from his old high school bully later on, also rang bitterly true. But I'm not going into any personal anecdotes on that count.

I haven't even brought up Billy Bob Thornton yet, and he's having a grand old time playing what is essentially the devil. I'm not exaggerating. The man is cartoonishly conniving and violent. Thornton is clearly having a ball with the material, incredulous though it can be at times, and it's just as much fun to watch him wind all these people up.


It's the relatively unknown Allison Tolman who grounds the series as a rational woman surrounded by contented sheep. She's the only one in the sheriff's department who sees the connection between Nygard's evasive panicking and Thornton's trail of blood. I'm only three episodes in and the chase already has me hooked. Lester is much more sympathetic than William H. Macy's character, but he's still guilty as sin. I'd explain why, but trust me, you'd rather be surprised.

This all struck me as more interesting than the movie ever was, but for a 13 part mini-series I guess it had to be. Sure, a lot of what Thornton's character does seems to be violently creepy for creepy violence's sake... and there's a sub human set of teenage twins that are as boring as characters as they are bad at acting. But to be honest, the Coens did that sort of thing all the time too. Remember John Polito's son in Miller's Crossing? It was like he stumbled out of a completely different movie.

Quibbles aside, it's a damn good serial thriller regardless of the fact it's bobbing in the wake of Breaking Bad. That fact alone should be enough if you were worried about it. It's certainly enough for me.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

I'm not feeling too hot.



Sleeping has become more of an issue for me lately. Not sure why. Sometimes I'm out like a light for 8 hours. Sometimes I'm fresh as a daisy at 3 in the morning... then not so fresh at 7:30. Either way, I'm not posting as much as I should.

So to recap:

 *Dark Souls 2 was wonderful and I plan on running through it a couple more times.

I don't have a "silly" helmet, You! yuh- YOU'RE a silly helmet.
 
* Last night's Hannibal was spectacular.

I said this was the best body horror in decades a year ago. They've improved since. How is this on NBC?

*And that Amazon Gary Busey ad is just the best. Didn't they do one with Kevin Bacon years ago? I didn't dream that did I?

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

So Close....


You might be wondering where I've been. I've been busy. With work and some other more personal thingys. Also Dark Souls 2. God damn, do I love Dark Souls 2. Not only am I happily getting skewered by the final boss-ette right now, I'm apparently in the top ten percent of all steam players.

Because apparently less than 6% of everyone who plays it on steam has gotten as far as I have. That feels pretty amazing. I mean I also have an achievement that less than 3% of all those chumps have. But all I did was talk to some dying soldier until he gave me a helmet.

Still, chalking that up as a win.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Dark Souls 2 PC Impression: Absolutely Goddamn Worth it.


This is a personal screen shot in case anyone gave a damn.
This is the first game I've ever bought twice. That's how deep I am in this series. To think that four years ago (after throwing down Demon Souls in disgust) that I'd not only love it's spiritual successor so much, and then I'd not only buy it's sequel day one, but it's PC port a month later. What happened to me? You know, besides a better paying job? Damn good games happened. Damn good games.

To be honest, there is no major difference between versions in terms of the overall experience, but the little things are already starting to pile up. For one, I can rock the max settings at a silky smooth 60 fps (on a evga 780) which is nice considering even the PC Dark Souls chugged quite a bit during that lava pit sequence. For another, I can read the inventory screen without a damn magnifying glass. Apparently everyone that owns a PS3 also has a massive flat screen and doesn't have an issue with infuriatingly tiny text.

But honestly? The biggest step up is the loading time. No longer am I checking my texts and swigging coffee during the minute and a half trip back to Majula. Now loading is damn near instant. And that, that, was almost worth anouther $50. Almost.

And it's SO much prettier now. I'm spending most of my time just zooming in the camera oogling the stitching on my guy's leather armor. Stupendous texture work, From Software. Stupendous.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Here's the first Age of Ultron pic:


Would we respect him more if Downy Jr. didn't troll us? I sure as hell wouldn't. It's nice to see some faces of the more unsung founders of the Iron Man cum Marvel saga. That's Jeremy Latcham, by the way.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

"Who preformed this c-section?" no no no no no NO NO NO DON'T... awwwww.


Hannibal has been on spectacular form all season long. The story has zigged when I thought it would zag and it's contrived returns to normalcy seem poetic instead of tactless. I thought they burned through their A material last week with Dr. Chilton and it looks like they're going to take a break from the serial story for a time.

But that means we get some new killers to focus on, and the nesting doll this week kept me from finishing my lunch. I guess it's dinner now. Anywho, if you're not watching hannibal you're missing out on the best thing on tv right now.

Fargo's pretty good, Thrones is holding steady, and I'm waiting on Orphan Black for a while. But I sincerely doubt they can top what Hannibal's got cooking right now. I mean, I was yelling "don't go in there" to a veterinarian cutting open a horse! Where the hell else are you going to see something like that?!