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Wednesday, November 25, 2015

The great AC syndicate riddle has been solved.

Apparently AC Syndicate does NOT appreciate being in a EHD and can only stand to take up space in my C drive.

To those of you I just lost, this prissy game was not about to be played from some rinky dink flash drive.

Monday, November 23, 2015

This year... thanksgiving ate ME.

It's been CRAZY for me this week and it's only getting crazier, so here:

Have a couple mustaches

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Next October... call for a monster.

El Orfanato is the most beautiful movie I've ever seen. It's also the best ghost story too. I love that movie and I've shown it to more people  than any other. Juan Antonio Bayona has a children's film coming down the pike and it looks just as extraordinary.

So... AC Syndicate won't even launch...

I see them all the time on message boards, those poor bastards that can't even get their game to start! I always felt for them, even if I'd never actually had that problem. Well here we go, this is the third time I've restarted my  computer and... yep. that exe. just stalls out 9000k. Worthless.

I mean, I got it free with my 980, but still. This sucks, I heard this one was actually a step forward...

(update) I re-downloaded and re-installed. Yet it's exactly the same and no one else seems to be dealing with this... dammit.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

The Fallout 4 lost weekend butcher's bill:

12 Caribu coffe k-cups:

2 boxes of Keebler Club Crackers:

I thought, "hey! tea and crackers. That sounds good." I innocently put a sleeve next to my mug and then... it was gone.

17 bags of Twinings Earl Grey:

...all gone.

6 bags of Sleepy Time:

A serving size was what? 4. 4 goddamn crackers. The hell are you trying to pull, Keebler?!

18 baby portobello mushrooms:

8 Links of Chicken Sausage

What I can only describe as a crate of spinach:

2 goddamn pounds of penne

2 whole frickin' jars of bertolli

Are all the food groups recognized?  I don't want to think about it.

Fallout 4 review incoming!

I rather like it. Both the game and the first 5 paragraphs of my review. Lemmie just say that I don't understand all the negativity floating around. Obviously Fallout isn't everyone's bag, but as for all the folks who keep gabbing on about how this essentially the same game as 3 and new vegas?

I'm sorry, I'm confused. It's Fallout. Were you expecting Far Cry 5? Help me out here, guys. Because after emerging bleary eyed and emaciated after my 3 day weekend; all I could think of was that this was the best game I'd played in over 2 years.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Don't feed the supermutant trolls.

So... some jerk broke the Fallout 4 review embargo and had some allegedly nasty things to say about it. I say allegedly, because that shiz went down so fast reddit's head spun. I remember a similar thing happened for New Vegas. The dude only talked about stuff he could have easily gleaned from trailers and was just negative to the point where no professional review was even close to matching.

It was just too cruel to be true and New Vegas went on to be my most favoritist'est' game ever. All was well. Though in this case, the review's title "the danger's of hype" smacks of something a wee more credible. I haven't seen the review... but I have seen the leaks. I'm thinking maybe he has a point. The animation is still god-awful and the acting and dialogue is right back to Bethesda's constant level of "meh." Never bad but always frustratingly inert.

From what I've seen anyway.

But what if this guy was cashing in on being the first review? What would be the way to get the most attention for that sort of thing? By going against the grain and confirming our worst fears. Becoming a critical prophet of doom on the most ravenously in demand RPG in years. We expect to see 9's and 10's not a soul crushing 7.

So this could all be a cynical crock; but given how there's been a practical iron curtain over this game, and how Bethesda didn't let anyone actually play it before the review copies were sent out gives me pause.

Dark, depressing, agonizing, pause.

Goodbye Arkham Knight.

If I'm being brutally honest... Knight was the worst game in the series. I've always thought Origins got a bad rep mostly because it felt like too much of a retread. But I'd take O's killer premise and Christmas aesthetic over it's bloated, bored, and undercooked next of kin.

The performance wasn't a deal breaker for me, it ran no worse than Black Flag. But aside from a few new tricks for stealth combat and a couple fun batmoblie puzzles, so much felt shoehorned. We didn't need two face or penguin. They didn't matter and they weren't worth the disk space. And everyone saw the red hood twist coming 10 miles away.

So I returned it. I've never had the opportunity to return a digital game for cash and I'm taking it. I sincerely doubt I'd ever feel compelled to ever play it again.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Bethesda bans 20 minutes of Fallout 4. Microsoft releases 2 hours of Tomb Raider...

And no one cares. Nobody cares about Tomb Raider reboot 2 right now! Look, I loved the katniss-esque empowered revision of Tomb Raider. Loved it. But guess what you're not? You're not Fallout 4. I'd bend the knee and move in with Fallout 4. Tomb Raider... you're going to die on the vine on the 10th. You're the only one that doesn't seem to notice.

Becoming an Xbox exclusive was a bold move, but even you knew how stupid that was seeing as how you'll be across all platforms in a year. You can't fight F4 and Call of Duty AND Halo. You. Can't. We all want what's best for you, so why'd you have to jump off a cliff like that?

J-Stew's Back!

Or he will be, having just signed a 4 year deal with HBO. The Last Week Tonight crossover event is inevitable!