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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

The Keepers Review: God is Watching.

This guy is something f**king else.

The Keepers surprised me. That much I can say for it. From the start you seem to know what you're getting. The Baltimore Catholic church wrapped up in the murder of a nun. It's like Spotlight but with somehow even more brazenly obvious collusion with the city. Sad to say that in this world the tale of unchecked pedophile priests is actually getting kinda stale. Think about how jaded we are now; or rather think about what people like Father Maskell have forced us to become. These people made our world that much darker and untrustworthy, we should never forget what they did. For that alone, The Keepers would be this year's Making a Murderer and then some.

It mostly is, though the first 4 episodes are basically all covered in the trailer.  That compounded with a slow start began to grind on my nerves a bit. The introductions to the scooby gang of 60-something investigators are a bit much as well. You ever been the new kid in school and the first friend you make tells you folks here call him "Maverick"... and you know in your bones that no one calls him Maverick? It's initially pretty hard to root for them because they chomp down on their 15 minutes so hard. They haven't let this story go for decades and they deserve it and all... but that don't make it less hard to watch.

Ah man, the suspects episode is soooooooooo good!

Honestly, Cathy's murder is the least interesting part of the whole story. It's actually almost lame by my standards, I just got done reading about the toy box killer. A sleep aid... he wasn't. But the doc smartly treats the murder as a lead rather than a destination. It's rare, but in this case the cover up was FAR less awful than the crimes.

First you hear about Sister Cathy's death, then all about "Mr. Sunshine" Father Maskell, and then? Then it gets amazing. You see, there are some holes in the accuser's stories. Their case was thrown out of court for sound reasons. I booed at the screen the second I heard "repressed memories" and the doc heard me. Near the end it takes it's time presenting the defense. Playing devil's advocate way harder than I expected it to. That witness is the star of the show and a full 15 minutes are dedicated to essentially calling her a liar.

It takes a much more journalistic tone once all the stories are told. It presents everything they got, more evidence for one side than the other, but they make every case that can be made. Let's face it... a lot of people die in Baltimore. It's entirely possible Cathy's death had nothing to do with Maskell's abuse. I love that it lets me make that judgment. In the end, all we need to clear everything up are publicly available documents the city of Baltimore refused to hand over for 4 years straight.

That's a pretty interesting story on it's own... doncha' think?

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

How's Everybody Doing?

Can I get anybody more cowbell?

Long week. I don't wanna talk about it. In short, I'm feeling much better and am thus much bloggier than I have been. Still plugging away at Darksiders II for the umpteenth time and I still have no idea why this has a 7/10 on steam. That's crazy to me as I could plausibly play this game forever. I'm seriously looking forward to sharing this with my kids, is that weird? It is, isn't it?

Either way, the Deathinitive version is still just so damn pretty and the loot drops are polished to a mirror sheen. Less is more here. Less loot, but the loot you get is more interesting. It's also much harder to buy your way out of a less than perfect load out, so even a grizzled veteran like me has to improvise. I'm loving it. If you've never touched this series and you have any interest in a heavy metal zelda/diablo hybrid... do it. Come on. You're killing me! These games are such a good time.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Warmastered Editon was pretty good...

"Even my SCABS have SKULLS."- Death after 3 drinks.

...but The Deathinitive Edition



Great art direction always ages well but, damn, I didn't think they could make Death's armor look that good. The best part of this game was the loot design. Every piece of loot from white to orange looked at least interesting enough to try on once. Most games treat everything under blue rarity as the garbage it is, but Vigil cared. They cared so damn much. I'm glad to see the series get one more shot, even gladder to see one of my all time favorite games get such a respectful face lift.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

American Gods: A second course of Hannibal.

It's obvious from the first episode that American Gods is a direct transplant of everyone that worked on Hannibal. The most horrifically gorgeous show ever made. Because of that alone I'm gonna be there to the bitter end. No other show on the air looks or sounds anything like this, like classic Italian horror with a budget and CGI.

The same dream logic and floaty dialogue usually fits Gaiman's words like a glove, in fact it's getting hard to tell what's old and what's new. Mr. Nancy's fiery new sermon is a welcome change seeing as Gaiman (a brit) seemed to not want to talk about the Black American experience too much. Understandably.  But it's a little stagey at times, fine for the page but too flowery and broad for small talk on a long car trip.  Let's just say sometimes Mr. Wednesday comes off as more a weird asshole than a brilliant con man. Though he is certainly both.

Shadow's a lot more of a character now too, though how much of that has to do with Ricky Whittle's solid acting chops is again, unclear. He seems to have a shorter fuse and is much less passive and/or gullible than before. Though It's been 10-12 years since I read the book, it could actually be much better than I remember. I had awful taste back then.

This is worth watching if you ever enjoyed Gaiman, Hannibal, Pushing Daisies, or Deadwood. You are going to LOVE IT. The cool kids aren't going to shut up about it anytime soon either

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Last political post for a while, pinky swearzies.

Obama has the ability to call someone a motherf**ker using only his posture.

In light of recent events, such as the AP reporting the Trump transition team illegally moved sensitive material the second they got their hands on it, the Wall Street Journal reporting that Putin personally signed off on payments to Trump hotels, and the fun (though possibly spurious) conspiracy chatter about the US Marshal service arresting sitting members of the House, I'd say it's time to look back to the last administration.

The story behind this picture beguiled me for months and I feel like I don't know much more than a quarter of it so far. But all that does explain why he looked so pissed here... and why he looked so relaxed on vacation.

He may have despised Hillary to an unhealthy degree, but he wouldn't do Barry like that.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Deputy US Marshal!

Just thought I'd reminisce about how much I loved Justified. The US Marshal service is on my mind tonight for some reason....

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Many people are saying that a sealed indictment has been issued for Donald Trump.

...but her emails.

According to journalists Louise Mensch and Claude Taylor, who correctly predicted the FBI raid and FISA court proceedings 3 weeks ago, are now saying that Trump ceased to be President on may 9th. Senator Orrin Hatch has received security briefings and is the next president of the United States.

Is this bullshit? I don't know, if not then I love the way they lie to me.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

What the sh*t, Barry?!

Archer Dreamland has been a damn good return to form after two downright mediocre seasons. Everyone has slightly new roles and motivation that changes things just enough to feel new again. Yet exactly the same, somehow.

 Though, I was worried why new Barry had to become a cyborg again. This episode was was why. Jesus Christ, someone on the writing staff had to have been bingeing Hannibal. That was just... haunting.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Goggins-Watch 2017

They really nailed the jawline...

Walton Goggins is center square in my favorite character actor bingo card. With Benedict Wong as your older brother and Goggins as a shady lab rat there is some damn good talent behind the mic. Shame the dialogue isn't better, still a firm step up from Dishonored 2.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Prey reaches the next level of interactive imersion.

Because as far as I know, no other video game character has been proven to sleep in socks and boxers. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but personally I've never felt closer to a player avatar in my entire life. Morgan Wu is my now my guiding light. My digital north star.

F**king glorious.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017



I honestly, hand to god, did NOT think this would ever happen. Darksiders 3! Holy sweet mother of Moses. It looks good, like it has a current gen budget behind it. The cartoony yet bloody ascetic is still in tact and the dialogue is still juuuuuust above average for a pulpy sword'n'sorcery affair. Plus they went with the sole female member of the horsepersons instead of the dude with all the guns. Nicely done... though the heels are a bit much.