Hans Zimmer Thinks Affleck is a Good Plan.

AKA: Jon Lovitz's sexy twin brother.

Famed composer of virtually every Nolan film you've seen, and a bunch of others, has come out in favor of the most reviled studio decision since Heath Ledger became the joker. I'm not gonna weigh in on this fire storm, but I do think Zimmer has a really good point about the prospective an actor like Affleck would have:

“I actually think it’s a really good choice, because #1 he’s a great filmmaker. He’s smart. He wouldn’t have taken it if he had set himself up for a fall. And, you know, he’s a bit older these days and that’s what we need, and he’s got a good chin.”- Collider.com

Maybe he's got he right idea, maybe I'm a soundtrack composer groupie, which is exactly as weird as it sounds. I mean, if John Powell held a concert close enough to me... I'd be all over it. But ok, Zimmer isn't a casting director I'll give you that, but isn't it time we try to be just a little optimistic about this? Petitioning the damn white house isn't gonna change a thing.

So that was Labor Day...

I had a good time. I caught up on Breaking Bad, then I saw The World's End again with my sister and the audience was wonderful. There's just nothing like the energy of a group of people experiencing something good for the first time. That tone of surprise in a loud, earned, audience laugh is one of the greatest sounds on earth to me. I'll never get sick of it and it alone was worth the price of admission for me, not that Edgar Wright's latest isn't worth a second viewing on it's own. It was.

Other than that, I had some grilled chicken sausage and a little Junior Johnson apple pie/root beer mixer. It's honestly the most delicious mixer I think I'll ever taste. The pie alone is so good I would keep it in a hip flask if I had any semblance of a drinking problem. I don't, but if I did, JJ's apple pie would almost certainly fill the hole in my life where the respect of my friends and family used to be.

HAPPY YESTERDAY EVERYBODY!

Borderlands 2: Terror at Digistruct Peak!

Cer0 y Salvadore.

The best game of last year that didn't have "walking dead" in the title is getting another upgrade on September 3rd. The "Vault Hunter Pack 2" gets you eleven shiny new levels (two whole maxed out skills and change!) as well as a new slaughterdome called digistruct peak. The twist is you can overpower the enemies at digi-peak so that you can never out level the challenge.

Unfortunately, the season pass ran out after 4 humongous new chapters and the last vault hunter pack, so even if you picked that up this is still gonna cost you $5... but I think we both know you want it. Gearbox has been so good to us already, if they were passing the hat around for nothing I'd think about it.

The Details:

Orange is the New Black Review.

They say entertainment is still a boy's club. I say they're right, with Oxygen and Lifetime being  intellectually and artistically insulting failures. Netflix's OTNB tries to turn that tide and in this white male's opinion (in case that's not obvious) it succeeds magnificently. You may have heard of Jenji Kohan from her work running Weeds. I liked Weeds, sure the plot got away from them once they moved out of Agrestic, but I think we're all bored of that fact by now.

The question is, is OITNB a step forward, or a leap? It's a leap guys, the hype is real, and this is literally the best new dramedy I've seen years. Years people. I can't count the ways a show like this could have stumbled. It could have been preachy, it could have been racist, it could have been too depressing, it could have been ridiculous. It... actually might be racist, (again, white male here) but she hasn't actually watched the show and in my opinion it doesn't push an agenda hardly at all. The show is prison, it dosn't push any idea or opinion on the viewer. It shows what it is and how people deal with it, you can choose to commiserate with them or not. It's your call. Even the protagonist's role as a "good guy" is up in the air by the end of it. But I suppose you want to know what all goes on in there?

I guess lunchrooms are emotionally traumatic everywhere... not just space camp.

So the deal is Piper Chapman played by Taylor Shilling was a bored, privileged, wasp who had a lesbian fling with a heroin trafficker. Years later her ring gets busted and Piper gets dragged down with her, right as her male fiancee (Jason Biggs) proposed. True love can weather any storm, right? He knew all about her criminal and bi-sexual past, right? It's only 15 months... right?  While the love triangle that forms is pretty damn good, the show slowly evolves into a spectacular ensemble so addicting and separate from Chapman, I sometimes had to go "Oh... right, she's still in this, she's the lead."   

You got Kate Mulgrew as a temperamental Russian Chef who runs both the kitchen and the local smuggling operations; Laverne Cox as the most 3 dimensional trans gender character I've ever seen, Taryn Manning as a black toothed, hypocritical, evangelist, murderer, and Uzu Aduba as "Crazy Eyes." Oh my god, crazy eyes. She's the break out star here, though her arc ends pretty early on, her comic relief through the rest of the season are all highlights. 

Trust me, those eyes get so much crazier.

It's important to know that this isn't Weeds. This isn't a straight up comedy, though it is pretty damn funny. It's also as grim and depressing as a show about prison would need to be. I didn't want to binge watch every one of them, as there was only so much of Warden Healy I could take. But again, it never felt like I was being preached too, but it wasn't like a documentary. It felt like scripted honesty, if that makes sense. That while there was some artistic license, the truth was really important to the writers.

But I don't want to give you the impression it's the end-all greatest show out there right now, it's defiantly got issues. Character decisions stop making a lot of sense near the end, inmates start to seem more "buddy-buddy" than they realistically would, and a few characters become CAR-toonishly evil just for the sake of drama. But it doesn't derail anything. If I'm being honest, I only really noticed it in retrospect and good, god, damn, the season cliffhanger is a nutpuncher. Thankfully the second season is already bought and paid for so... 'phew.

Orange is the New Black is both edgy and honest without seeming desperate or smug. That's amazing, and you should give it at least three episodes before bailing on it. I know it's not for everyone, but I think everyone should at least give it a chance.

There's goddamned ants coming out of my goddamned walls.

I don't have time to deal with this right now. Gross, I don't even have any food in this room. Start playing by the rules you... you ANTS!

Chinese Military Claims Pacific Rim is "American Propaganda."

Crimson Typhoon by Ali3n.

So it turns out Pac Rim did much better in China then it did over here. Great, it's a good movie and Del Toro can never have enough box office love as far as I'm concerned. But apparently The PLA Daily (the Chinese Stars and Stripes) claims that all Hollywood movies are a bald faced plot against the people's republic, specifically Del Toro's latest and greatest.

To be fair; this isn't a main stream publication, also it's worth noting that while Chinese characters in PAC Rim do get a really cool robot, they barely have any screen time at all. Military news is spin for the rest of the world's armed forces too, so keep that in mind before lighting your human rights torches.

 That being said, it is interesting to see their military react to American mainstream culture being wildly accepted by theirs. Would the Stars and Stripes run an article like this if a Chinese movie was #1 at our box office? I'd like to think not. As depressing as the presence of Rupert Murdoch is in our media, I'd take 20 of him over the state of the Chinese press. In much the same way thieves think everyone steals, I think China believes the rest of the world is waging a hearts and minds campaign against their actual propaganda machine.

Maybe... or maybe I'm full of it. You should all see Pacific Rim, though. 

The World's End Review: A Toast to a Life Half Lived.

Before I get all critical, I'd like to plop this clip from the end of The Wire on your face. If you always meant to get around to it, then skip on down, it's easily the best monologue the show ever had. But for the curious, this is essentially what The World's End is all about:

Sh*t just got real up in this action comedy review.

The work of Edgar Wright holds a very special place in my movie lover's heart. I've seen the best of the best. Citizen Kane, The Man who would be King, Schindler's List, classics new and old. But my favorite movie, the one I've watched more than twice as many times as any other, is Hot Fuzz. I love it to pieces. It's so funny, so well constructed, acted, and executed. To me, it's the perfect movie. Come at me film critics, and to a lesser extent Shaun of the dead fans (still great, but not as great), I will defend the Fuzz to the bitter, bloody end.

Did the World's End live up to it? I don't see why that's necessary. I can critique it without holding it to my single highest standard for film making. But if, hypothetically, I did view it as a contender to my all time favorite film, did it live up to it? Yes. Yes it f**king did.

No one from this day forth will be able to doubt the acting chops of either Pegg or Frost. They are no longer just talented comedians because they both turn in spectacular performances that would be praise worthy even if they weren't a complete 180 from past roles. Pegg in particular stuns as Gary King, a developmentally arrested 40 year old who sees a failed attempt at an all night pub crawl as the high point of his entire life. In an attempt to recapture that feeling literally decades too late, he corrals his old pals together for one more shot at the infamous "Golden Mile." Gary's an addict. Not a nice guy who just needs someone to believe in him (or hollywood) addict, but a conniving and unbearable lost cause.

STOP! ...in the name of loooooooove.

The simple fact the film doesn't collapse under the weight of such a downer of  a lead character, comedy or not, is a major miracle. Pegg owns every aspect of Gary, he's simultaneously pathetic and magnetic. You roll with his bull, just like his friends do, because you just can't look away. Frost finally gets to be the straight man and shows a much more dramatic side than I ever thought I'd see from him. He used to be Gary's best friend but (dot dot dot, ellipses) I'm not gonna spoil it for you here. It's a damn good bombshell.  

But what of the sci-fi action half of the movie? This is a Wright joint, isn't it? That should answer your question. It raises a worthy philosophical conundrum that could work divorced from Gary's story, but manages to mix together to make both greater than the sum of thier parts. Again, it's a Wright move, of course that's what happened.

The usual meticulous details abound, the pubs all foreshadow plot points and blink and you'll miss the green cornetto. There's some great cameos from the other films as well as another James Bond.   Suffice it to say, you're gonna want to see it more than once. Oh, and see if you can guess Bill Nighy's role.

I'm at a loss of what else to say, it's a great movie from a great trilogy, there's really nothing else to discuss. Maybe you've heard the ending is weird or uncomfortable. Yeah, I guess it is, but it's still ballsy and I respect the hell out of it. Just go in with an open mind and don't expect the lighter endings of Shaun and Fuzz.

But uh... I've already said too much.