Where the hell have I been?

I've been procrastinating is what. Yes, I still don't like my Bioshock Infinite article. Why yes, my game of the year is BIOSHOCK INFINITE. I don't want to get into it yet, believe me, half of my article is defensive pleading. That's kinda why it's taken me so long.

Now other things have caught my interest. Things like Dark Souls 2:

 Isn't it cute how it tries to set up a story, then it's all "F$%k it. You want bosses?! Here's your damn bosses!"

Am I head over heels for this series. After throwing down Demon Souls in a rage 4 years ago, and shamefully cheating my way past my first 2 playthroughs of Dark Souls (I've got at least 4 finished characters now) I'm in love. I get it now. I have atoned for my cheating ways and bent DS backwards and forwards since February of last year. I'm in deep, is what I'm saying. That game lit up the risk/reward part of my brain like a damn forest fire and I'd be lying if I said 2 wasn't fulfilling some kind of chemical fix. So whenever it comes to PC (they said late march, but you sure won't see me holding my breath) I'd throw down for the $120 special edition if it was the only one left in stock.

...I did mention the chemical addiction part right?

Now for TV, and the triumphant return of Hannibal!

That was... words can't... how the hell is this on network TV?!

This was the biggest and most pleasant surprise of last year. If you pressed me, and if it wasn't for Breaking Bad's graceful landing, I would have said it was the best show of last year. Certainly the best police procedural in almost a decade. Between this and True Detective my cup runneth over for stylized cop dramas with perfect casting. 

So that's what I've been thinking about. I'll try not to be so forgetful next time, here on the every-other daily crackpot.

Still trying to get my #1 article straight.

 

As far as I can tell, absolutely no one else thinks my choice is the game of the year. I'm not trying to be contrarian, I'm not trying to stand out from all the other blog spot sites that average upwards of 4 bounces a day. It's honestly my favorite game I've played this year and I just hope my defense makes sense to people willing to give my ramblings a chance.

It's taken a solid week and a half already. This has been fun...

#2 The Last of Us

You saw this one coming huh? Well too bad, it's the best game Naughty Dog's ever made, and one of the bravest AAA games period. Just think, how many games have you played that were a bald faced tragedy? Except a couple of silent hills and other horror titles, most story games have essentially "happy" endings. And while I wouldn't call the ending of The Last of Us "sad" it uh... it is something.

It's the little things that endear me the most to TLU. Ellie's jokes and guitar riffs. Joel's reminiscence on super models, coffee shops, and sexy werewolf movies. Like precious few games before it, TLU is deadly serious about being a character piece. It commits from the first cut scene until the last one 14 some-odd hours later. It certainly doesn't hurt that the game itself is a refreshingly intense stealth/survival mash up, either.

It's not the best I've played, it sure as hell doesn't have to be. But the quality of the game play mixed with the master class of acting and story telling, creates an experience critics will cite for at least 15 more years. What I mean is; if TLU was a movie, even if you hate apocalypse fiction, you'd still have to admit it was a pretty good movie. But like Gone Home, the act of playing through the game (searching for ammo, frantically slapping together a nail board, knifing a fungus zombie in the neck) builds a kind of connection to Joel and Ellie only interactivity can provide.

It becomes powerful stuff. Even when I met new characters and cynically pointed out that they were "gonna die" with a half chewed twizzler sticking out of my mouth, I still stood up and yelled when they finally bit it. That's the sign of great art. When you know what's coming, but you get taken for a ride anyway.

Just like I know Luke's never going to eat all those eggs, and just like I know Ralston's never gonna get through the last nerve on his arm, I know I'm going to love The Last of Us for as long as I love video games.

#3 Gone Home

Gone Home should be a lot of things. It should be that thing that game critics prop up because it's in vogue and I should probably resent it for that. I know all the cool critics are talking about Gone Home and Papers Please, but you know what? They should be. They are both great experiments in what the interactive experience is capable of. If you read my work, seeing this game on my list should be no surprise as I'm quite the obvious little feminist.

But what's personally surprising to me is why I haven't put this game further up the list, and there's a couple reasons for that, but I'd like to talk about what GH means to me first. I'm proud something like this exists. The processes of rooting through your childhood home, trying to find what your sister has been up too while you've been away, adds something a novelization of the story couldn't. That fact alone opens a Pandora's box of possibility. But the fact the story is good on it's own, helps shout down it's more ignorant critics.

I don't want to break down the story, not enough people have played it yet. But following the breadcrumb trail of your sister's first love is a standout experience in a year with some notable interactive stories.

But why isn't this #1 for me? Well... as much as I loved GH, it's the equivalent of a short film. Don't think I'm holding it's length against it, far from it. But there's a reason short films don't win Oscars, because there's some major indie trappings that rubbed me the wrong way. Namely, the actor that plays your sister, Sam.

She's good... but inert. Often the visual clues of the environment seemed at odds with the performance I was listening to. There were several foreboding references to suicide (that Ophelia poster, for one) and other things that should have really brought Sam down. But all I seemed to hear from her was a tone that always sounded like "Dear diary, I'm in love!"

If she was able to shift gears a little I would have definitely put this up higher. But here we are, with a great game, instead of a masterpiece. Not a lick of shame in that. Bravo, Fullbright Co. And godspeed.

GAME OF THE YEAR 2013: #4 GTA V

You know you're getting older when you don't finish every game you buy. There's at least 7 games in my Steam profile I've barely clocked 20 minutes into. I'm only 3 missions away from finishing Assasin's Creed 4 but...  good lord I couldn't be bothered. That being said, I finished GTA V. No small feat for a guy that couldn't do the same for IV. It was great. I find all the praise heaped upon it fair, a solid journey from start to meandering finish. I loved every second I spent with it.

Unfortunately, absence made my heart grow far less fonder. The more time I tried to give a damn about gold medals, spaceship parts, and starting a whole new game; the less and less I started to want to play it. The blinding sheen of one of the most meticulously constructed games ever made began to wear off  for me, I didn't like what I was beginning to see.

Again, unfortunately everything negative heaped upon it was fair as well. The story was a mess, the female characters both sparse and spectacularly one dimensional, and the basic mechanics of fast traveling were purposefully restricted to cab calling alone. Collectively I spent hours waiting for cabs in GTA V, but that's not even close to the reason the bloom fell so dramatically off the rose for me.

In fact, I'm not exactly sure there's a specific reason I can point to, except I could tell you sitting through the cut scenes a second time around became torturous. Playing missions again became painfully tedious. Having the chance to really pick at core of each central character's motivation just killed it for me. At the end of the day, they make no goddamned sense. Though a fine acting job was done by all, it must be said.

There's something deeply hollow about the game for me now. I'll never forget how entranced I was at the start, but I've moved on. It's a similar feeling I have for Tomb Raider, it's actually the reason Tomb Raider isn't #5. I would have covered too much of the same territory. I loved both games to pieces at first... but I'd need a gun to my head to plow through them a second time.

But for all my pissing and moaning, this is the best GTA in ten years and one of the best of the generation. I begrudge not a single GOTY throw it's way.

Still figuring out my game of the year

This is a pretty political year for the goty. Is GTA V a undisputed masterpiece, or a janky by-the-numbers affair propped up by good acting? Is The Last of Us the greatest story ever told in a video game, or does it borrow too heavily from apocalypse fiction to be held under that much scrutiny? And what of Bioshock Infinite? The tide turned so harshly against that game after all the perfect reviews, I've nary seen it on top five lists, let alone best of the year.

I'm thinking long and hard on this one. There won't be any "just because" rationality from me. I'm gonna try to narrow down what I appreciate the most out of these. So I'll count down my top four to try to get you in my head space, to let you understand why these games show up where they do and why I enjoyed them personally.

I have a pretty good feeling what my #1 is gonna be. And I have a feeling y'all aren't gonna be happy with it. So gear up.

IMDB is down! I repeat, IMDB is down!

Update: aaaaaaaand it's back.

As of right now, not a single film's page at the internet movie data base is accessible and I've got the trivia addict shakes already. How else am I going to prove that Stephen Tobolowsky has been in every single film ever made, thus proving the existence of 4th dimensional beings?! Am I going to have to make a web of newspaper clippings and yarn like a crazy person?! That's just silly.

So for the foreseeable future, you're not going to be able to figure out who that guy was in that thing, and trust me when I say I feel for you. But, you can keep refreshing the page to see how many cute 500 error pages they have.



Spoiler alert: There are many.