The Kafkaesque feedback loop of Battle.net

Battle.net (Blizzard's Steam) went through some maintenance today and then decided to ban me. I barely use the sucker ( I got sick of Diablo 3, 6 months ago and only play star craft 2 single player once every 2 years.) and I just decided to pick up Heart of the Swarm. I was so close to finishing it and bam. Thanks a million, Blizzard. It may sound like I'm being a little snotty there and you're not wrong... but I'm also not finished.

To plead my case (which can take up to 10 days) I need to answer my security question and get an email authentication. Simple, those take seconds and I remembered my question. Only I must have triggered an email 20 times today, the first being 8 hours ago. It simply won't pop up. This happens to be the only way to contact Blizzard. Without an authenticator email I am effectively excommunicated. So now what? Tweet at them? That could take days if they ever even see it. Call them? The number just sends me back to the website.

So what the hell gives?! Is there  a bandwidth traffic jam for their maintenance day? Possibly. Will I ever spend money on battle.net ever again?

That's a really, really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeally, good question. 

So I was wrong about Outlander.

"Your teeth are amazing!" "Aye." "But why... and how?" "I don' ken."

I'm a guy. I'm not crazy into romance fiction, I doubt that makes me unique. But the problem is I used to think that I could like anything good. If enough people persuaded me, I thought I could appropriate art in almost every from. Unfortunately the first 3 episodes of Outlander left me a bit cold. God forbid this white male not be the target audience for once, but I wasn't, and I balked at being left out.

I was all "Jesus, another nurse the charming/chiseled/single warrior back to health scene?!" And the show was all "Yeah, that's how this is gonna go." The show being the absorbing period piece of 18th century Scotland that it is, I still couldn't let go.  

But I've blogged extensively on Breaking Bad and other great, but male dominated, shows without thinking about how unnecessary the female roles in them can be. Likewise, I began to get frustrated when Jamie Fraser became a little too noble/broken/stupendously desirable. Though well acted and written he felt so... contrived. And then I began to eat serious crow about female characters much like Jamie, which I had defended as not being too much. 

It's not just a damn good costume drama that stirs my Scottish roots sumthun' fierce... I honestly think it's making me a better person.

I just felt I had to say something, because the central antagonist just got his first big episode and he is a masterclass in calculated false humility. As far a cry as you can get from his two dimensional rapist in the pilot. That was my last huge problem "I could really use a compelling villain right about now..."  I said.

"Choke on this 100 on 100 lashes scene" They said.

"I will endeavor to do so, sirs!" I said.

Yes that is Edmure Tully.

...So watch Outlander, I guess. I'm pretty damn into it now.

I'm Back! And I'm spectacularly tired.

Not for any write worthy reason unfortunately, my flights were on time and uneventful. I just had to work a shift at the restaurant as soon as I got back. So what'd I miss while studying the Bible and shunning the consumption of alcoholic beverages in Tampa Bay? The Knick! I love the Knick. Can't wait to catch up with that...

Outlander is rock solid, I regret my lukewarm impressions last month, what else? Ooo! Conan O' Brain preformed the monorail song live! Shove that in your face.

Right the hell now:

GTA V will be on PC in......

January. The 27th. The new consoles get it a good two months before that. But I'm ok with this. They need to take their time. I still haven't made up my mind over whether it's worth buying the damn thing again a year later. Every couple of years I think this is the time I really get into GTA. This time the casual misogyny won't bother me so much. This time a smoother frame rate and higher textures will get me on board.

I dunno, I just don't know. I want to like theses games so much more than I do.

The Crackpot, live from Florida!

 

So I'm going on a little vacation, albeit one where I'll still force myself to do a little bloggin'. Maybe I'll finish up my Planet of the Apes review. Though I'll probably hold onto that when the Blu Ray comes out.

Maybe I'll review the St. Petersburg airport... nah, that'd be insufferably hipstersih.

Jack the Ripper: DNA analyst thinks he's got his man.

The most famous cold  case in history may have just been solved. I know, I know, "with a grain of salt" and all that, but still.

This is really fuggin' cool, even if it's just  an extremely well educated guess. I don't know, Kominski was never the most convincing suspect to me. But maybe this will encourage other theorists to use actual expatriation instead of speculation to prove their hypothesis. Though starting with your conclusion is kind of a huge problem too... 

Blue Ruin Review: I hear its best served cold.

I went into Blue Ruin cold... and a little buzzed. I knew it was a bit of a critic darling and I knew it was about bloody revenge. If you want to avoid spoilers, and I suggest you avoid spoilers, stop reading right now and Netflix it. If you enjoyed Breaking Bad at all, I know you'll at least like it.


Still not convinced? Lemmie break down the beginning for you. We see a homeless man breaking out of a small house naked, stealing clothes off a line (who has clothes lines anymore?) as he runs back to his beach campsite. A fabulously sh**y immobile sedan with a tarp propped up out of it like a tent. He seems innocent enough, likable, even. Is he in hiding? Is this what the villain of the piece winds up becoming in the story's aftermath? Nope. He's the "hero."

A man who's parents were killed by a small time Dixie mafia family after his dad fooled around with the crime boss's wife. But really, the back story is just a jumping off point. Blue Ruin is all about atmosphere and action first with character development second. Dwight is the only 3 dimensional character, and even then, most of that is because of Macon Blaire's gloriously subtle performance. He's so quiet and sweet, yet so broken and crazy. This is the kind of movie that character work would have only bogged down. This movie is all about the stealth attacks and stakeouts. A micro budget Die Hard that gives the best of the genre a damn good run for it's money.

It's impossible to explain why the stealth scenes are so good without absolutely ruining them. Blue Ruining them. So here's the deal: Indie atmosphere good. Acting good. Action good. Movie good.

Give it a shot.