Hannibal, Antipasto: Review

This, unlike any other show that's ever aired, doesn't give a single f**k about what you think. It's going to do what it wants, when it wants to. It's going to blare an out of tune pipe organ in your ear while a woman passes out after pulling the entire length of her arm from a dead man's throat.

This is a bizarre, violent, show that follows more of a nightmare dream logic than a real story structure. This season it's decided to completely reinvent itself after last season's "get out of contract free" cliffhanger that left nearly every single main character bleeding out in Hannibal's mansion. Hannibal has coerced Bedelia (his former therapist and now "wife") into being his European camouflage. As he murders his way into a respectable position curating an Italian art exhibit. He straight up sits in his competition's office feasting on the man's liver so he can give that man's wife a cute little shock.

There hasn't been a horror film in years with this kind goofy, yet enthralling, kind of sadism. This is the one-of-a-kind folded steel carving knife to SAW's blunted cleaver. It makes sumptuous visual high art out of a mumble core penny dreadful script. And thankfully, IMDB tells me everyone's contract renewed, so the core cast will show up... eventually.

Not before Hannibal showed us that they totally could have built a show around just the two of them and part of me wishes they had. Settling into life with a possessive monster has a lot to do with bath tub based dream sequences and trips to unsettling, and fancy, Italian butcher shops. How come our butcher shops don't have rabbits and game hens hung up to bleed? Thanks, FDA.

Antipasto is a day in the life. All story threads that seem to lead to further intrigue are surgically dealt with by Hannibal's indiscriminate and defensive hand. It's a short film rather than an episode, capped off with Bedelia staring longingly at a train station security camera. Screaming for help on the inside. There's even a film within a film and it's some of the best character work in the series to date. Did you think Hannibal made Eddie Izzard just eat his own leg and then killed him? No. No he didn't. It's the greatest character send off I think I've ever seen. It's slow, horrific, and hypnotizing.

Apparently the Red Dragon is going to feature this season too, but to be honest... I'm already stuffed.

I can buy Fallout 4... and I'm really thinking about it.

Goddammit, OPEN ALREADY!!!!

Sure, it's possible that this game comes out in January 2017. Any number of setbacks could happen. But the fact they've had more than a reasonable amount of time to make the thing, and because of Todd Howard's famous "when it's ready" approach to marketing, and because I can plop down $60 to reserve the thing on Steam right now even though it doesn't even have power armor as box art... points strongly to a  Fall or December release.

This is happening. Sure The Witcher 3 was delayed almost a full year, which is why I'm not taking my hand off my wallet... even though my heart and my soul scream "YES!" As if $59.99 could make my hopes and dreams real. No, even though that in engine trailer was glorious and I'd happily slog through it if it was one of the greatest disappointments in gaming history, I do have more restraint than that.

I can wait. But not forever.

Welcome back, pal.

Roll over, Fallout. Imma scratch your belly.

Please stand by...? Whatever could you mean Bethesda?

Oh. OOOOOOOOH! Oh right, yeah! YEEEEAAAAAAAAH.  I'll stand by. No problem. Thanks Bethesda. Thanks for not chasing Skyrim 2. After ESO disappointed it must have been tempting.

Here's a snail eating a veggie straw.

Ya'll have a nice day.

X-COM 2? Solid copy, big sky.

Guess what's not about aliens invading... again? Why, it's X-COM 2! With extraterrestrial occupation, genetic splicing, and a VTOL mobile command center, X2 looks like it's taking all the right steps to a great sequel.

Though I will have to be sold a little harder on that literal cobra commander. That's a little much. Let's go, November 2015! Get here as fast as you can. Or don't. Pull a Witcher 3 and take all the time you need. No rush.

Winter is Here.

This season of Thrones had me REAL worried. It's still a great show, but it's had to deliver what all great shows need and that is to outdo itself. I can count on one hand all the greats that managed to keep upping the anti.

Ladies and gentlemen, the anti has been upped. In the end, we all keep tuning in to see dragons fight ice zombies. And it'll take a whole 'nuther season to see something on the scale of this white walker attack again. But seeing these blue blooded sons o' bitches play with their food was worth it's weight in dragon glass. Stop hating and get back on board. Dorn wasn't that boring and Cersei's in prison now! Know what? I'm watching that again.