DAMN It's good to be back.

After a little fun trouble shooting (one of the great joys of playing old pc games) I'm back in Darksiders II.  Most forgotten gems will get a shout out from me but little else. You're on your own, "Xcom: The Bureau!" But Darksiders II is the underappreciated hill I choose to die on. Sure it hardly has any original ideas and the 2 games amount to what is essentially just Todd McFarland's Zelda. But it's made up of so many moving parts that all fit together so perfectly! It also helps that it's got just enough wit and humor to make the bog-standard sword and sorcery narrative go down smooth.

It's art direction is, quite frankly, age proof. It's loot, combat, and platforming are all flawless. If you haven't given 2 a shot, please do. What else are steam sales for?

I just keep telling myself it's a joke.

Right? I'm laughing... that means it's funny! Right?!

Ok... the new ghostbuster's theme song is "by committee " garbage.

Them' Koreans sure know how to poster.

I'm still holding out hope the new Ghostbusters movie will, at the very least, skirt by on it's amazing cast. But the audio production side is in CRISIS. This is a classic "what do the kids like these days?" reverse engineered disaster. Which is weird because fallout boy played ball with Big Hero Six a few years back and while it may not be that great of a song, it's got one hell of an instrumental hook.

What the hell, Fallout Boy? What. The. HELL?! 

 

I've made a huge mistake.

Gaze into the abyss and despair.

Do you like Kirkland natural peanut butter? Really? You do? You seriously wished peanut butter was more like oily roofing tar? Because... Jesus I can't eat this sh*t. I'm usually on board for leaner, less sugary food. But not like this. Not like this. See, most food passes through one's mouth with relative ease. This crap establishes occupation forces. It took me almost 15 minutes to get through two pieces of toast.

It's like spreadable cardboard, gritty and flavorless. I've never ever thrown out $10 worth of groceries, but if you made me choose between finishing these two jars of super glue and a bullet to the brain, I'd really have to think about

Keanu and Popstar flopped really hard, you guys.

Two well received comedies in the last couple months have been box office poison. Keanu could only scare up 9 million and Popstar... Popstar barely cleared 4. You know what? Fine. Who needs movies, Comedy? You've been amazing these last 10 years on tv. Parks and Rec, Key and Peele, Bojack Horseman, and way too many others to name here have all flourished under reasonable budgets.  Plus the last best picture they gave you was in the 70's. The goddamn 70's.

The Academy never respected you, Comedy. Maybe this split is for the best.

Chris Avellone has arrived.

The man I created a twitter account for the sole purpose to tweet at has been writing a big budget shooter. Prey is now officially a Chris Avelonne joint... actually it looks like he just punched it up a bit. Still! He's helping mold actual facial animation that isn't frozen in a dead eyed stare. I love New Vegas way more than the next guy and still... that facial animation aged like milk. I could NOT be more pumped for this sci-fi ground-hog-day shooter rigamarole.

.@DumbCerb No - the amazing @RicardoBare and @rafcolantonio came to me w/ the story, and I was like, "fuck yes, I'd love to help."

— Chris Avellone (@ChrisAvellone) June 13, 2016

Jesus LORD, do I want a domesticated fox

50 years ago soviet scientists bred the aggression out of wild foxes to learn how dogs came from wolves. Though arcane and torturous international trade dealings some people have gotten their hands on a couple "domesticated" foxes. Half of a cat's hunter instincts with half of a dog's high energy playfulness makes a pet hybrid I didn't know I needed in my life. I would LOVE it if I came home to a dog that would play-stalk me like a delightful fuzzy kato.

For now I'll just have to settle for youtube videos...