I just discovered pierogi...

Yeah, yeah, slow news week. But wow, if someone had just told me pierogi was mashed potatoes/anything awesome n' savory in a pastry I would have been on board years ago. I've wasted so much time...

Stranger Things Review: Will the Wise casts Fireball.

Bring him home.

Right now I'm halfway through seeing Stranger Things.The second time. As soon as I was finished with Netflix's new 8 hour mini series I started it right up again. Stranger Things is made of a lot of moving parts, though sadly, none of those parts are original. Every character and story has been told before in either a Stephan King paperback or a Spielberg blockbuster. Though I'm beginning think that maybe, just maybe, originality is overrated.

It took a while before I was hooked, about 2 and a half episodes. I began to clue into what each of the main stories were referencing and I was ready for the Duffer brothers (fellow Durham natives!) to surprise me. But it didn't surprise me. Except for a few great monster attack scenes nothing the show ever did was "surprising." So what's so good about it? Damn near everything. Every set, every actor, every line of dialogue, every twist in the narrative's road was as good or better than anything either aforementioned Stephen has ever done. I still think a project needs at least a spark of originality to earn a full A+ but this is the most lovable A- I've ever reviewed.

But what's it all about? That's an intense line of questioning. I'm not sure I can even say without spoiling too much, but here goes. When it's focused on the kids and their journey with a CIA experiment, it's ET. When we follow the town Sheriff as he falls further down the rabbit hole of a legit government conspiracy, it's Jaws. There's also a smattering of Pretty in Pink, Altered States, Close Encounters, and you get the idea. It isn't lost on me that this should be a joyless slurry of other artist's better ideas watered down into nothing. But somehow they manage to turn lead into gold.

Would you take LSD with this man?

I'd love to go deeper into the story but it's only 8 hours long and mapping out each main thread would hurt more than it would help. But I'll say this; all the major stuff like the conspiracy, the nature of 11, and the man in the rubber suit are all well above average. It's the little things that make the whole project stand out. Like how all the child actors, even the silent 2 year old sister, say so much with their faces and not just their words. But it's not as if these kids aren't already hitting laugh lines like pros and sometimes even showing up the teenagers. Speaking of, there's also a legitimately great teenage love triangle involving the most 3 dimensional cocky jock character I've ever seen.

Ultimately the aspect that really sets it apart from the competition is it's size and structure. It's  essentially an 8 hour movie with 7 act breaks. That sounds exhausting doesn't it? It isn't. I tore through the first 5 in half a day. The entire season is expertly paced and I know that might not sound as sexy as a show that's more original or better written, but there is barely a minute of fat on it's bones. It's so well paced it forced me to notice how often so many other great shows waste their time. I'll give you an example: a man drinking in a bar has critical information but wises up before telling too much. In a show with 13 episodes the off duty sheriff would resign to the fact he didn't get the whole story and would try again next week. In Stranger Things the sheriff follows him to his car and beats the rest out of him.

If those walls could talk, they'd scream.

There's tons of moments like that where the writing feints a step towards closing the mystery box only to flip the box over and dump it all out. It's such a glorious breath of fresh air after this year's Game of Thrones and Preacher. Both personal favorites, but both prone to sit on their hands far too long than I'm willing to stand sometimes. Now that I'm almost done (again) I can say it definitely holds up. Every plot hole I marked the first time was actually solved by quick stuff I didn't bother to notice. Plotting that was more substantial than a throw away line excusing a short cut. It took two viewings to really pick up how deliberate nearly every scene is. It was designed to be watched again, is what I'm saying.

Guys, there hasn't been a first season this good in almost 6 years. All the heart, mystery, humor, fear, and energy you miss from the 80's golden age of adventure is in here. Good as new, if not maybe a teensy bit better. I'll say it, the Stephens have two genuinely worthy successors on their hands. And they're from Durham North Carolina! Did I mention they're from Durham? Well they super are.

If she doesn't get an Emmy nom, I swear to god I'll......

Nothing makes sense anymore.

There will a partition in the history of civilization as momentous as the Common Era. The year 2017 will be the first year of PDP. Post Detective Pikachu. I swear I had a dream like this once...

Here's the opening to Stranger Things:

But not because this is my new favorite thing in the world right now. No... it's for some other reason.

Stranger Things is the best story Netflix has ever told.

This is a Goonies-Halloween-Close Encounters-ET smoothie. It's pretty tasty.

I tell ya what guys, after seeing a few tepid reviews, I did not expect to like ST as much as I do. I goddamn love it. I'm halfway through and I am hooked, do you hear me?, I am damn near flopping on the deck of the good ship Netflix. The actors are good, but the script and story structure are even better. Master class even. It looks like a sappy speilburgian love letter because that's what the Duffer Brothers want you to see. I'll save the rest for a review, but christ guys... this is good TV. 

What the hell, Nerds?!

Miss Jones, I am so sorry.

Sometimes you're in too deep to see it. You're so happy to meet someone else that's played the dlc to New Vegas that you're willing to look past faults in their character. I'm not a nerd because I play and write about video games. I'm a nerd because I can yell about the Mass Effect 3 ending for an hour straight. I'm incredibly passionate about something that isn't main stream. But I would never be this upset if the new ME crew was all women. And I would never ever think about attacking the actor as if they were responsible.

The fact that the new Ghostbusters trailer is the most hated video on the internet is one thing. The fact that the brunt of the vitriol landed at the twitter account of Leslie Jones is a whole new circle of nerd hell. The fact she's had to quit twitter because of the non-stop siege from anonymous racist cowards is unacceptable. I have been so incredibly naive about nerds and gamer culture in general. They can be echo chambers of hate just as effective as tea party radio. I wish it wasn't so, but here we are. A talented comedian gave a critically lauded performance and all some nerds could think to do was call her a n***r.

That's just f***ing amazing, guys.

I'm... busy.

Sorry about the delay folks. Just haven't been feeling too writey lately. Been picking up some extra shifts, 'cause I got a $1200 dental surgery I don't have the money for. Could be worse, though. it's just the one tooth and the procedure is a grand a tooth. Counting my blessings where I can!