A buring question... answered.

Why aren't there tent pole adaptations of Discworld in movies, TV, or even gaming? Now that I'm  knee deep in the work of a writer I've only recently discovered was my literary spirit guide; I notice the abysmal quality of his adaptations. The fact the first season of American Gods wrapped before anything noteworthy from the Pratchett estate got produced drives me nuts.

Is it the orangutan librarian or Death of Rats? No, even Sci Fi can afford CGI characters these days. It couldn't be the lack of material or a dearth of talented writers clamoring for a chance to produce their Vimes fan fics. This could be the next crossover hit. Pixar or HBO need get on this... why haven't they? We can get American Gods on the air, America! We can do anything.

Then I started Interesting Times. In which Terry Pratchett calmly, politely, and most englishly calls China a Kafkaesque hell hole. "OOOOOOHHHHhhhhh." I said to myself. "Yeah no, Hollywood needs China way more then they need the Rincewind saga." Do you remember Alibaba's credit during Rogue Nation? I sure as hell do.

One last thing about Terry Pratchett.

Thanks, karelias!

Where most writers use exposition he chooses to tell short stories. And on the occasion he does use exposition, they all seem to turn into jokes. Good ones:

"Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.”

Holy crap I love Terry Pratchett.

He was the kind of writer that's far more talented then they want you to believe. Sure, Discworld books are funny. Sweet Moses, they're funny. But after finally picking up Guards! Guards! I'm blown away at how much character and detail is every single line of his dialogue. Each character has lived a full life and will keep on living it after the book closes. I know we all want a Watch TV series, but Pratchett's other works have so much to offer you'd be just as happy with a show all about Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler.

Admit it.

Cowboy Bebop TV series! ... from the producer of Teen Wolf.

Are space corgis cheaper in CGI?

...and the writer of Thor: The Dark World. Yeesh. I'm all for second chances, lord knows I've been given a few, but this pedigree just makes my hair bristle. There's never a wrong time for a noir space opera with a barnstorming jazz soundtrack, but please not these guys and not this property.

This belongs to someone else. A mini series by Shane Black would be perfect. But we do not live in a perfect world. We live in a world where North American remakes of anime classics can't stop crashing and burning. I honestly forgot all about Scar Jo's Ghost in the Shell. Already.

How to make the Palindrome a Palindrome

Oh, is it?

I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the semantics of Destiny's self serious gun names. I think I have a mechanics based solution: what if the Palindrome fired while you reloaded? ....right?

I've had a weird day.

*psst* this is why you're my favorite.

Get it?

Here's a legendary pistol from Destiny:

Bungie I... look, the word palindrome isn't a palindrome. Don't think that flavor text gets you off the hook.

Here's a legendary sword from Diablo 3:

Jesus, can we instate a five syllable maximum? Please?

These are just some dumb boots from Path of Exile:

Aaaaaand this is one of the best sniper rifles I've ever found in Borderlands 2:

Most game's rare loot names sound like chapters in a high school poet's portfolio. Borderland's rare loot names sound like the drunken ramblings of an 18th century Quebecois fur trapper. Thus, I will always love Borderlands.

"Hey! Me from the past!"

Me from the Past

"Oh hey. What's up, Me from the future?"

Me from the Future

 "What if I told you Ubisoft could make up for 7 years of forcing rote formulation into each and every one of their games in 3 1/2 minutes?

Me from the Past

"What? No. Shut up. Get out. Absolutly not. No way in hell. F*$k you."

 Ooof. It's not very good at cursing, is it? STILL THOUGH!