Channel Zero Season 2 Review: Muuuuuuuuch better.

Horror is a hard genre to love. It is so difficult to get right and what little that glitters is drowned in a sea of half-assed embarrassments. I gave the first season of SCY FY's Channel Zero a try and I stuck with it for what seemed like an eternity. Some shows can make 13 episodes vanish in a couple hours, Channel Zero made 4 feel like a prison sentence. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that season did that wasn't profoundly outdone by the IT mini series. And that hasn't aged well AT. ALL. Tim Curry aside, of course.

But there's the thing, that show was anchored by Curry as a driving force, Channel Zero had a tooth monster that nibbled the hero's fingers when he slept. It was dull, aimless, choking on awful dialogue  and trying to force performances out of child actors I wouldn't ask Gary Oldman to tackle.

But now we have season 2. A fresh start, a better cast, and what I assume is a bigger budget. If you can give John Carrol Lynch a good character to chew on I am there. After watching the first episode and letting it rattle around in my head for a few days... yeah! It's trying much harder this year. Maybe not B+ material, but I definitely have a "most improved show" ribbon for it.

We have 2 female leads, which is pretty refreshing. One is coming home to the burbs after a semester of college while the other took a gap year after her dad died from a freak allergic reaction. Sure, they mine guilt for her out of it, but I love how boring the most dramatic thing that's ever happened to her is. That's not a knock, suburban horror must find a way to weaponize boredom and they've pulled it off here.

It's not all rosey, there are still dialogue problems (people pointing out painfully obvious things, characters clumsily spouting exposition about themselves, etc.) and the opening scene involving a panicked woman trying to escape a never ending housing development is a smidge too "community theater" for me. But this is a haunted house story and this haunted house is f**king awesome.

It's actually more an art installation/escape room and I loved it. It was the best kind of world building. Unsettling, but poetic enough so it sends a message. Not everything works, of course. There's this one dude who has to creepy laugh all the time. He's terrible. But the rest of the rooms balance it out. That's the word for this show. Balanced. 

There's nothing it did wrong that's bad enough to keep me from finishing it like last year. I like the actors, I like where it's going, it knows most of David Lynch's best tricks, and I can't wait to see JCL be a scary motherf**ker eventually. Because there's no way he won't.

XCOM has turned me into an amateur propagandist

So happy togethuuuuuuuur...

I've finally got my hands on war of the chosen, I like what I see so far, even if all it is are a few new mission types and a bevy of new maps. I thought X2 was the sh*t as is but it's nice to see my $40 filter through the entire experience even though most of it is saved for the mid-game. Where it was sorely needed.

I had heard about "bonds" your squad mates can become buddies giving them an extra turn when they team up, but they're tasked with winning hearts and minds too. You make propaganda posters out of their bro-mance. I love it. I can't wait to hear my squeak of rage when one of them dies and I can't save scum out of it. That'll be fun.

C&C 90: Don't be Afraid.

One of these things is not like the other...

Don't be Afraid.

 

Hollow Knight's Halloween Special:

Wait... is Halloween a thing in Australia? Neat.

Christopher Larkin is still killing it with the gothic organ sh*t.

This is free, people. Though I'd happily drop $30 bucks on a season pass for this $15 gem. You thought I'd cool off my GOTY rants about this game? No. This is still a stupendously special game and you should all buy it. Right the hell now.

C&C 89: It's a Cult.

Things get both sad and racial this week. They don't have to be mutually exclusive.

It's a Cult.

 

Back in the habit.

Now that I've thrown down $25 for PS-Plus I might as well give Overwatch anouther shot, right? It's funny how a 7 month gap can give you the distance to figure out what you really want out of a game that used to confuse the crap out of you. For one, I'm way better at Macree for some reason, I won a 8 on 8 death match with 76 handily, and I am KILLING it as Zenyatta.

There's almost never a wrong situation for this guy. My score cards are bursting with golds and silvers. As long as I can hide between the legs of a tank I can heal and mark for death all day long. I think... I think I'm finally super into Overwatch.

Destiny 2 is... well... s'ok.

You save this entire game, Nathan Fillion. Look at me, seriously, DUDE... the entire game.

 What do you what in a shooter? Do you want something that's really easy to pick up and nigh impossible to master? Bungie's got you here. Every gun, every enemy, and every head shot feels like it belongs in the billion dollar plus venture Destiny is. I'm running around with two different pistols. If this were Borderlands I'd be screwed, but in Destiny if I just breathe deep and concentrate I'm never more than 4 headshots away from moping up entire mobs.

I was ready to lay into D2 a lot harder than I'm going to because you know what? There is something really special about Bungie's games. I can't quite describe it, but nothing is ever too hard or too easy. If you just pay attention/run away screaming at the right time you can make it though any firefight. I really can see myself poping in and out every few weeks or so to snag loot and do public events. The gameplay is truly a cut above and the gear is uniformly interesting. I also thought I'd hate the controller based cursor menu but it's lovely! It's way snappier and intuitive than it should be. So you get an 8 Destiny 2. A rock solid 8.

But I'm not that happy with it. It's not just because you can blow through the entire campaign in a day and a half. No, you sold me on this game with that trailer of Nathan Fillion's character being a fun nut. He may very well be that and he was absolutely the highlight of the game. But here's the thing,  no one else is. The script is awful. Flunk creative writing 101, awful. I know I gave Andromeda a lot of crap for it's dull as sand dialogue but guys, it's 12th Night compared to this drivel.

Video game writing has a long way to go but it's been years since I heard a villain say "we're not so different, you and I." Austin Powers had an entire sketch on that line 20 years ago. Don't even get me started on their crushingly unfunny attempt at GLADOS. Just be prepared for it. Oh, and Lance Reddik  pauses... for dramatic effect... all the time. I just don't understand how someone looked at the script, saw Reddik's character doing 3 Horatio glasses removal lines in a row and though that was ok. It's tragic.

So in summation, super fun shooter, really pretty and well designed levels, spectacular guns, endlessly fun to shoot enemies, and one whopper of a script. Stick around for Zoe and Mal. You have my permission to skip everything else. If Dinklidge and North can't make Ghost work, no one can.