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Monday, October 13, 2014

Borderlands The Pre-Sequel: Charmed to death by "Joy-Puke".

"Hellooooooooooooo, transient blog readers!"
At first I was going through the motions. No, I don't think I have the money for the PS. No I'm not terribly jazzed about a past generation place holding cash in on one of my favorite series. But after spending twenty minutes on Pandora's moon as everyone's favorite emotionally needy robot, I'm back in the pink.

I love Borderlands, and while this is simply "more borderlands" I feel like lately I've forgotten how much I love the story and lore the first time around. It's been 2 years since BL2, and the sting of that game's shockingly good story beats dulled in my memory.

This is still the best written, most intentionally funny, role playing game in the industry. And guess what? The Eridians are back! What? You didn't play Borderlands 1? Well you won't get the customer loyalty bonus either... tough noogies.

Oh, and apparently there's a machine on Elpis that can eat 3 green guns and spit out a blue one. That fixes the single biggest problem with 2. The stupidly stingy loot system! I am so on board now...

Sunday, October 12, 2014 breaks embargo, warms my heart.

There's a lot riding on video game releases. Tens of millions of dollars, people's jobs, and critical public first impressions. I can see why they'd want to embargo a review until the day of release with a new IP like Evil Within.

I can understand why obsessive PR spin can feel like a job well done from the publisher's prospective. But it's gotten out of control and the leash needs to be loosened for the good of the industry.

That's why I'm glad broke the review embargo and published their review two days early. They say it's because they weren't sent a copy and since they got theirs from a store, legally they aren't culpable. I'm sure Bethesda doesn't see it that way and this site is probably on an industry wide blacklist right now.

But they threw the first stone... and they won't be the last. I like where this ball is rolling.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Final Fantasy XIII on PC is a cruel joke.

Over-designed armor bikini feather exploooooosiiiiiiioooooon!!!!!!!!!!
Locked at 720p, wide spread reports of jerky framerate, and a 60 (goddamned) gigabyte download for a nearly 6 year old game.

No. Nuh-uh, Square.

We're happy you showed up to the party, but you gotta bring a cheap bottle of wine at least. And it would help if you looked like you wanted to be here, too.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Every USB device has been compromised. Seriously. Every single one.

According to The Escapist and the last Black Hat conference (a shindig where hackers try to be as hacky as possible) it was discovered  that you could rewrite a thumb drive's firmware and effectively take control of an infected computer. One example? Remote access to the keyboard. Did that prick your ears up?

The only silver lining is that new USB devices can be updated to fend off the exploit... but only new devices. All your old junk is vulnerable to an undetectable electronic equivalent to a zombie virus.

...Goodnight everybody! Sweet dreams.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Bojack Horseman: The Rewatch.

Thanks, showmesomthingugly!
It's a damn good show, and it's even better when you know where it's going. Bojack's neuroses are more obvious. His doomed schemes to keep what few friends he has in his life more cutting and tragic. You know what? That's what it is. This is a tragedy.

A show that clings to comic timing, but is ultimately about the horrifying futility in trying to change yourself. I liked the show when I watched it the first time, but now I genuinely respect it.

Ya'll seriously need to get past episode 2 already. It slowly morphs into something radically original. 

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Randy Pitchford's car was hit with a bomb threat.

Pitchford, of Gearbox Software and Borderlands fame, was just a target of a seemingly toothless bomb threat. Police were summoned and Pitchford was not allowed back to his vehicle.

He has since made light of the event in this tweet.

As a Borderlands fan, I don't get it. So Colonial Marines was a massive insult. They should not have released it. That was a mistake, but a bomb threat?! Even filtered through the grotesque histrionics of gamer culture this is hard to understand.

Don't let them get to you Mr. Pitchford. The world needs Borderlands 3!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Review Watch: Alien Isolation.

This is actually pretty interesting. The mainstream sites (IGN, Polygon, Gamespot), are uniformly "meh" on the survival horror title. Whereas PCGamer, Joystiq, and The Escapist (which is reviewed by Jim Sterling, who I'm comfortable calling the Colbert/Ebert of gaming) are pretty glowing.

What's a girl to do? Well I sure as hell can't afford it right now... I'm not sure I can afford a new game this month at all. My Borderlands buddies are not gonna be happy about that. But personally I want to see the best in Isolation. And I kind of love the fact it's a lengthy 20 hour affair, instead of an 8 hour skirmish.

Seriously, Polygon? The most disappointing Alien game? You know I love you guys, but the self satisfaction is really starting to reek.

But I also used to think a 20 hour God of War game would be amazing... let's just say I've fallen asleep a couple of times trying to review Lords of Shadow. I don't know how or why that game is so stupendously dull, but finishing it twice was honest to god work.

So I dunno, I will play Isolation eventually... but not this year. Oh, and Evil Within? I just don't trust it. Every single preview of that thing I've read seems to break the writer's heart. So that's it for AAA horror games for the next several years.

Silent Hills better be the second coming.