History for the Hardcore

I think I talked about Hardcore Game of Thrones a while back. It was cute seeing a guy managing to have an interesting lecture about all the stuff that happened outside the books. But he was mocking Dan Carlin's Hardcore History and since I'm deep in Inquisition (and I need a good  podcast to make it through that game's grindier aspects) I thought I'd give his series on the lead up to the Cold War a shot. It was 4 hours long and it. Was. Awesome.

It's a bird's eye view of America's transition into foreign affairs and the fall of the Russian Czars. If you think you know everything about either of those events Carlin's editorial voice compares and contrasts them both in ways that are worth your time.

Huh... Inquisition's dlc ain't half bad.

Bioware's DLC has always been up and down. Sometimes you get something as amazing as Shadow Broker or a place holding shrug like Arrival. It doesn't help that they never EVER drop in price and while I'm in rant mode, keeping ME2 dlc at where it launched at is ludicrous. I wouldn't buy the entire game at the price they're selling that stuff for.

But that being said, I've finally got around to playing Descent. I still don't know why I dropped $15 on this thing and didn't play it for 5 months (past-me is getting a stern talking to) because it really isn't worth more than $8. But now that I have it... it's a huge awesome dungeon! The kind I wish they had leading up to, oh I don't know, the finale? I'm sorry, but if the only thing beyond your game's point of no return is a single unremarkable boss fight you f**ked up. Rushed finales are a huge pet peeve of mine.

After the week I've had; a huge awesome dungeon that forces you to change up your tactics and makes you sweat running out of potions makes me happy. The Jaws of Hawken is up next. Let's see if I like it enough to buy Tresspaser and complete the set. Of course that would require me to care about Solus and his limp end credits betrayal. Sometimes having a character do one or two interesting things isn't enough to make up for how boring (and yet somehow irritating) they were before.

I liked Anders more than you. Anders.

You're goddamned right, America.

The dignified end of the party of Lincoln

I've never tried to get this political on the crackpot before but I feel as if I've been carrying a weight on my shoulders for the past year. Not so much about Trump as what he represented. Was he the sign of a party's death throes as it cast out all it's moderates? Or was this the start of a neo-white power movement with a real shot at an entire branch of government? If recent polls and Nate Silver are to be believed (and aside from Trump in general his track record is as close to prophecy as we'll ever get) if the election were held today Hillary has a 92% chance of winning.

I've been listening to so much gospel today, guys.

Let that wash over you. I honestly didn't think this many republicans could get over themselves to do the right thing. I thought this election would see 40% voting for a man who would give away all responsibility of the office and just sit on the oval throne. Occasionally venturing out to go boar hunting. I never seriously thought Hillary could hit these numbers. This time 4 years ago Obama and Romney were practically tied and even then the polls skewed too conservative. Also keep in mind there hasn't been a single debate yet!

The price of liberty is constant vigilance so y'all better not get too comfortable. If you don't want Trump you have to vote for Hillary. Simple as that. I don't care what you think about her, you can't say she's even remotely similar to him in terms of pure competence. It's sad it's come to this but here we are. Even still... I haven't been this proud of my country in years.

What do Rick and Morty and a murder trial have in common?

There was a batsh*t insane murder trial deposition in Mississippi a few months ago. The Rick and Morty crew found it genuinely profound. So they did the only thing they could, cast Rick as the defendant and Morty as the judge. What follows is the most amazing conversation that's ever happened.

I'm genuinely curious if that video stays up longer than two days.

Wait... do I still have Origin?

I completely forgot Origin even existed...

I felt the need to dip back into Inquisition and I realized something. I haven't used Origin in 7 months. I haven't bought a game for it in almost 2 years. What the hell is your problem EA? Is steam some sort of AI hivemind and you're actually fighting a shadow war on behalf of humanity's free will? Because if you aren't, either make games that make your platform matter or I'll... I'LL...

I'll still jump though whatever hoops you need so long as Bioware keeps bringing the goods.

I just discovered pierogi...

Yeah, yeah, slow news week. But wow, if someone had just told me pierogi was mashed potatoes/anything awesome n' savory in a pastry I would have been on board years ago. I've wasted so much time...

Stranger Things Review: Will the Wise casts Fireball.

Bring him home.

Right now I'm halfway through seeing Stranger Things.The second time. As soon as I was finished with Netflix's new 8 hour mini series I started it right up again. Stranger Things is made of a lot of moving parts, though sadly, none of those parts are original. Every character and story has been told before in either a Stephan King paperback or a Spielberg blockbuster. Though I'm beginning think that maybe, just maybe, originality is overrated.

It took a while before I was hooked, about 2 and a half episodes. I began to clue into what each of the main stories were referencing and I was ready for the Duffer brothers (fellow Durham natives!) to surprise me. But it didn't surprise me. Except for a few great monster attack scenes nothing the show ever did was "surprising." So what's so good about it? Damn near everything. Every set, every actor, every line of dialogue, every twist in the narrative's road was as good or better than anything either aforementioned Stephen has ever done. I still think a project needs at least a spark of originality to earn a full A+ but this is the most lovable A- I've ever reviewed.

But what's it all about? That's an intense line of questioning. I'm not sure I can even say without spoiling too much, but here goes. When it's focused on the kids and their journey with a CIA experiment, it's ET. When we follow the town Sheriff as he falls further down the rabbit hole of a legit government conspiracy, it's Jaws. There's also a smattering of Pretty in Pink, Altered States, Close Encounters, and you get the idea. It isn't lost on me that this should be a joyless slurry of other artist's better ideas watered down into nothing. But somehow they manage to turn lead into gold.

Would you take LSD with this man?

I'd love to go deeper into the story but it's only 8 hours long and mapping out each main thread would hurt more than it would help. But I'll say this; all the major stuff like the conspiracy, the nature of 11, and the man in the rubber suit are all well above average. It's the little things that make the whole project stand out. Like how all the child actors, even the silent 2 year old sister, say so much with their faces and not just their words. But it's not as if these kids aren't already hitting laugh lines like pros and sometimes even showing up the teenagers. Speaking of, there's also a legitimately great teenage love triangle involving the most 3 dimensional cocky jock character I've ever seen.

Ultimately the aspect that really sets it apart from the competition is it's size and structure. It's  essentially an 8 hour movie with 7 act breaks. That sounds exhausting doesn't it? It isn't. I tore through the first 5 in half a day. The entire season is expertly paced and I know that might not sound as sexy as a show that's more original or better written, but there is barely a minute of fat on it's bones. It's so well paced it forced me to notice how often so many other great shows waste their time. I'll give you an example: a man drinking in a bar has critical information but wises up before telling too much. In a show with 13 episodes the off duty sheriff would resign to the fact he didn't get the whole story and would try again next week. In Stranger Things the sheriff follows him to his car and beats the rest out of him.

If those walls could talk, they'd scream.

There's tons of moments like that where the writing feints a step towards closing the mystery box only to flip the box over and dump it all out. It's such a glorious breath of fresh air after this year's Game of Thrones and Preacher. Both personal favorites, but both prone to sit on their hands far too long than I'm willing to stand sometimes. Now that I'm almost done (again) I can say it definitely holds up. Every plot hole I marked the first time was actually solved by quick stuff I didn't bother to notice. Plotting that was more substantial than a throw away line excusing a short cut. It took two viewings to really pick up how deliberate nearly every scene is. It was designed to be watched again, is what I'm saying.

Guys, there hasn't been a first season this good in almost 6 years. All the heart, mystery, humor, fear, and energy you miss from the 80's golden age of adventure is in here. Good as new, if not maybe a teensy bit better. I'll say it, the Stephens have two genuinely worthy successors on their hands. And they're from Durham North Carolina! Did I mention they're from Durham? Well they super are.

If she doesn't get an Emmy nom, I swear to god I'll......