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Sunday, January 15, 2017

John Lewis gets his.


Most of the time I don't want to make the Crackpot political. But then most of the time the president-elect doesn't childishly put down a man who was cracked in the skull on the Edmund Pettus Bridge. Turns out Rep. John Lewis is laughing all the way to the bank. His graphic novel/memoir box set has completely sold out over night.

I wouldn't go as far to say that Trump is "illegitimate." but for this man to loose his cool like that over something like this may be the most spectacularly ironic event in American politics.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

PS2 reunion tour: GOW II is still a f@$%ing masterpiece.

Allow me to set the mood:

I remember I used to be a huge fan of God of War, until 3 just... shattered my heart* (another post for another day), but Dark Souls took up it's place and ran with it for years. I had assumed modern action games had left it in the dust and that I'd probably give up on a play through 4 hours in. This was not the case at all.

Most of my PS2 jaunts these last few weeks were all the great JRPG's** but I forget how gracefully GOWII has aged. The bloom effects are a bit too much, but other than that, I'd barely change a thing. The puzzles are great, the loot's hiding places are brilliant and 2 of the greatest boss fights of all time are in here. The fates, man. They killed me on titan mode so many times 10 years ago I almost beat them with my eyes closed just now. But I still like that fight and that is the mark of greatness. You memorize a game inside and out and you still love it.

It's been a long time since you were a critical darling, Kratos. Here's to your comeback!

*it ran out of both money and ideas a 1/3 of the way through and ended with the exact same finale as II. The fact that they're only now making a game set after 3 and it's abandoned Greek mythology entirely I think proves that they didn't like the ending either. Oh. OH! And that creepy surrogate daughter sh*t with Calliope. Where the hell did that come from?! GRUMP! 

**Seriously where are all the great JRPGs these last 2 console generations? The ps2 era was absolutely lousy with em'.


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

The Durham PD thinks I could use a hug.

I'm not gonna get my cash back or anything, but you know what? This is kinda nice. I had no idea there was a "victim service unit." I'm glad my tax dollars are paying for something like this.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Ice Storm 2017

I may not be from the Midwest like Chamberlain or even Canada like Chance, but I haven't been snowed in like this for a couple years. Good thing I'm all stocked up. Sausage and pasta FOR. DAYS.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Persona 4 and the real, Real, REAL, ending.

Some games have disappointing endings. Some games have disappointing fake endings hiding the real happy ending. One game in particular has the real ending behind a happy ending, behind a shitty ending, behind a tragedy. This narrative nesting doll is Persona 4 and I'd just like to take some time to appreciate it's magnificently batsh*t storytelling choices.

Also it has the best video game end credits I've ever seen. You finally get hear the lyrics to title screen theme!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

My Christmas Hot Sauces:

Being able to support myself is a great feeling, but I always seem to end up with nearly everything I want as far as gift giving goes. It's not like anyone can just ask for a stronger sense of self worth for Christmas... but moving right along, I have standing bounties in lieu of specific gift ideas. Any tea, coffee, or hot sauce I might like.

See the key to affording the stuff I want is to find the cheapest way to eat food I like. Places like Cost Co allow me to get decent produce and absurd amounts of pasta at a fair price. But even my favorite veggies get boring after making so many stir fries. Then there's my frozen staples which after all these years especially cry out for new and interesting hot sauces. So here we are: Crackpot Hot Sauces 2017:

Arrogant Bastard Ale: Jalapeno Heat.

Pretty good beer, too.

This is thick and dark like a BBQ sauce. It's got a sweet taste and a short burn perfect for burritos. But preferably steak burritos.   

Baby Clydesdale Sriracha

Their mascot doubles as a warning label.
This is hot sh*t in every sense. Like fireworks that change color, BC is gonna hurt you in a couple different ways. There's depth to the hurt, is what I'm saying. It's gonna make you stop and think about just how badly you need another bite of eggroll. If Tabasco is budweiser, then this is a fine sipping whisky.

Sunday, January 1, 2017