Legion Review: What Time is It?

The last 2 seasons of Fargo have given Breaking Bad a deadly serious run for their money. They were great self contained thrillers with deep characters, gorgeous cinematography, and a script so tight it might as well have been shrink wrapped.

Noah Hawley has new fish to fry. He's been given the reigns to the X-Men franchise and he has made something truly, deeply, weird. Schizophrenia isn't something to be taken lightly, that is something this show gets out of the way pretty early. David may be the most powerful X-Man in the world of comics, but here he's just another psychiatric patient. One thing I do admire is how this show doesn't shy away from how much David suffers. His breaks from reality into red tinged velvet hellscapes become almost painful to look at. I imagine they would be quite a bit more painful to live through.

Dan Stevens as David is a young Sam Rockwell. Contrasting his dangerous sociopath from The Guest to this it's not hard to see golden statues in his future. Then again, I'd have bet Rockwell would have at least one by now. At any rate, he nails the sweet spot of making David just relatable enough to be the protagonist, but you still understand why his fiancee left him. Up next is Rachel Keller as another possible insane mutant who can't be touched and with whom David shares an adorable platonic romance. I'll have to apologize to Aubrey Plaza, because as much as I loved her as April in Parks&Rec, I thought she was her only character. As Lenny she's an ADHD verbal racket ball who again; is just goofy enough to be funny, but you get why she's inside. IMDB only has her on for 3 episodes so I'm already going to miss her. That's how much fun she looks like she's having.

When Legion is at it's best it's a cocktail of The Prisoner and One Flew Over The Cuckoo's nest. When it's not it's... well, an X-Men show. The action finale was a huge let down. 5 minutes of stuntmen lining up politely to be blown away on wires. For a show that had been, I'll say it, visionary for the most part to become so predictable in the end really shook me. It's a good show and I'm gonna ride the season out regardless. But I'm not ready to love it. I need at least one great episode for that and I like my chances.

How do you feel?

Psychonauts Lives.

I think I'm too young for nostalgia, but I'm pretty sure what I felt when seeing Psychonauts 2 for the first time is what has been fueling the reboot craze for years. I squeaked. I squeaked like a squirrel on coke. I saw Psychonauts the way it looked in my head and not as an 11 year old adventure game. The swaying trees, the blowing leaves, and Raz's mosquito slapping idle animation all gave me a slight chill. It's real now. I've wanted Psychonauts 2 for a decade but I didn't believe it was all going to come together until this. This FIG business makes me uneasy, but if it gets us to Psychonuats 3... I don't really care how they pull it off.

Barring humanitarian crimes or something. Like a Team Bondi sitch'.

Calorie-fu

I'm an over eater, it's been that since middle school. The trick for me nowadays is eat the exact same amount of food I used to, but with a fraction of the calories. For instance, Kraft mac and cheese. A box of that junk fully prepared is about 1,300 calories. I've found a way to bring that down to around 800. I fill a skillet with a cup of water and two cups of skim milk. Cook on high for 5 minutes and simmer on medium for 6. I usually mix in some sauteed mushrooms or sweet peppers or sumthin' then. A dash of sriracha to thicken near the end and... yeah. Sriracha mac and cheese.

Positivity Playlist:

Adjusting to a new life can be tough. Adjusting to a new world order can be tougher, but I think I've got a grip on it thanks to my daily playlist. I'm not gonna lie, I've been binging on David Simon's work pretty hard. First, Generation Kill (...s'ok.) and then Treme. A lot of people came to Treme expecting something closer to the Wire and what they got was essentially a musical. It's no skin off my back because I frikkin' adore the music:

 How 'bout some Professor longhair?

What else puts me in a good mood.... hmmm.

Nation of laws biiiiiiiiiiiiitch!!!!!!

The Black Pawn and the White Queen

Today I'm faced with a dilemma. Can I still be an entertainment blog whilst also bringing up the soft executive coup that's given a 70 year old child emperor veto power? Maybe! Let's find out.

Spy thrillers are some of my favorite stories and lord knows the Iraq war era had nothing for that genre. They're about massive nations pulling off invisible, yet devastating, plots against one another. That's something terrorist cells could never provide. Finesse.

It's been a generation since America has been threatened by a nation that's got it's sh*t together and I think a hell of a lot of these recent events are part of a successful Russian op. A sitting republican president that praises the Russian leader is nuts. That is f%$king NUTS. It's the only talking point he has ever been consistent on. It would be more ridiculous if Russia didn't have sh*t on Trump at this point.

So going from the idea that Trump is compromised... how did that happen? We may never have the real story but we can speculate. What we fill the blanks in with may never be the whole truth, but I'd settle for some weak tea just to get my heart rate lower. I think I've found that tea.

An anonymous blogger spun one hell of a yarn on the 17th. It could be bull but it can't all be bull. I've been a political junkie since I had an hour long free period in 5th grade to devour the library's periodical rack. I haven't seen bi-partisan criticism of Russia in my life time and you best believe my John le Carre loving butt was looking for it. Sh*t is going down and this may be the answer. Even if it isn't, it's still one hell of a thriller:

 

patribotics.

 

How do you do that?

The real tragedy is that he never got a chance to be the greatest grandpa who ever walked the earth.

This... Hurts.

Sir John Hurt has left us and I'm... pretty crushed. There's simply no one waiting in the wings that could make dialogue sing the way he could. He had a marvelously articulate rage, no surprise to anyone who saw V for Vendetta, which is actually an excellent companion piece to his work in 1984. It was the little things I always admired most about him. In Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (still on netflix and well worth your time) he's a spymaster who ends up getting played by a mole and in the scene where the inner circle ousts him he shreds the line "I should have left you WHERE I FOUND YOU." That shouldn't be my favorite moment in the movie but through sheer force of will he made me love it.

My condolences to his friends and family. I'm going to miss him terribly.

C and C episode 56!

Chamberlain and Chance - Never good enough

This isn't gonna steal my joy.

Man, I've had a corker of a sh**y week. I worked 5 double shifts in a row, 2 of them nightmares. Then I tried to get Resident Evil 7 up and running on my first day off after 51 work hours and my top of the line rig shuts it down before the title screen.

No. I'm gonna get mine this weekend. I've been lost in ps2 emulator land for over a month and I need my AAA game itch scratched. What can I do? What's $20 off  on green man gaming that was... faintly praised by my podcast buddies?

Hmmm. What to do, what to dooooooo?

Come to think of it, wolf eye sockets are perfect for belt loops.

Oh, what in the screaming bloody F&*K Capcom?!!

I love PC gaming to tears, but there are times that all the money and effort spent trying to get the damn things to work won't pay off. Resident Evil 7 is one of those times. I've had games run badly, I've had games crash randomly, but never have I EVER played a game that wouldn't even let me see the title screen.

Thank Christ the steam refund policy is in place, I would be so much more angry if I had to wait a week or two just to be able to fiddle with the graphics options. The last game I refunded was Arkham Knight and I at least got to play the damn game first.

So I'd love to tell you how good RESI 7 is. After it's knocked down at least $30.

What the inside of my head sounds like right now.

Roosevelt's theme from Civ VI has been echoing through my brain for weeks now. It's been oddly comforting to me so here it is, just in case one or two of ya'll out there need it too.

But lord knows I can't keep my happy face on forever and it's only a matter of time before that tune devolves into... something else.

2017's gonna be fascinating. I hope we make it.

No one seems to want to talk about Dragon Quest 8 anymore.

Wait... f&@king what?!

I mean, it's not like the game goes out of it's way to tell you a party member is under the age of consent and gives her a "sex appeal" stat. She's a 17 year old who literally uses sex as a weapon. It's leery eye fades to the background the vast majority of the time. That being said, when DQ8 does get it's perv on it is, for lack of a better word, stunning.

One of her attacks involves her flashing monsters to... distract them. Yeah. I'm out.

John Lewis gets his.

March

Most of the time I don't want to make the Crackpot political. But then most of the time the president-elect doesn't childishly put down a man who was cracked in the skull on the Edmund Pettus Bridge. Turns out Rep. John Lewis is laughing all the way to the bank. His graphic novel/memoir box set has completely sold out over night.

I wouldn't go as far to say that Trump is "illegitimate." but for this man to loose his cool like that over something like this may be the most spectacularly ironic event in American politics.

PS2 reunion tour: GOW II is still a f@$%ing masterpiece.

Allow me to set the mood:

I remember I used to be a huge fan of God of War, until 3 just... shattered my heart* (another post for another day), but Dark Souls took up it's place and ran with it for years. I had assumed modern action games had left it in the dust and that I'd probably give up on a play through 4 hours in. This was not the case at all.

Most of my PS2 jaunts these last few weeks were all the great JRPG's** but I forget how gracefully GOWII has aged. The bloom effects are a bit too much, but other than that, I'd barely change a thing. The puzzles are great, the loot's hiding places are brilliant and 2 of the greatest boss fights of all time are in here. The fates, man. They killed me on titan mode so many times 10 years ago I almost beat them with my eyes closed just now. But I still like that fight and that is the mark of greatness. You memorize a game inside and out and you still love it.

It's been a long time since you were a critical darling, Kratos. Here's to your comeback!



*it ran out of both money and ideas a 1/3 of the way through and ended with the exact same finale as II. The fact that they're only now making a game set after 3 and it's abandoned Greek mythology entirely I think proves that they didn't like the ending either. Oh. OH! And that creepy surrogate daughter sh*t with Calliope. Where the hell did that come from?! GRUMP! 

**Seriously where are all the great JRPGs these last 2 console generations? The ps2 era was absolutely lousy with em'.


 

The Durham PD thinks I could use a hug.

I'm not gonna get my cash back or anything, but you know what? This is kinda nice. I had no idea there was a "victim service unit." I'm glad my tax dollars are paying for something like this.

Ice Storm 2017

I may not be from the Midwest like Chamberlain or even Canada like Chance, but I haven't been snowed in like this for a couple years. Good thing I'm all stocked up. Sausage and pasta FOR. DAYS.

Persona 4 and the real, Real, REAL, ending.

Some games have disappointing endings. Some games have disappointing fake endings hiding the real happy ending. One game in particular has the real ending behind a happy ending, behind a shitty ending, behind a tragedy. This narrative nesting doll is Persona 4 and I'd just like to take some time to appreciate it's magnificently batsh*t storytelling choices.

Also it has the best video game end credits I've ever seen. You finally get hear the lyrics to title screen theme!

My Christmas Hot Sauces:

Being able to support myself is a great feeling, but I always seem to end up with nearly everything I want as far as gift giving goes. It's not like anyone can just ask for a stronger sense of self worth for Christmas... but moving right along, I have standing bounties in lieu of specific gift ideas. Any tea, coffee, or hot sauce I might like.

See the key to affording the stuff I want is to find the cheapest way to eat food I like. Places like Cost Co allow me to get decent produce and absurd amounts of pasta at a fair price. But even my favorite veggies get boring after making so many stir fries. Then there's my frozen staples which after all these years especially cry out for new and interesting hot sauces. So here we are: Crackpot Hot Sauces 2017:

Arrogant Bastard Ale: Jalapeno Heat.

Pretty good beer, too.

This is thick and dark like a BBQ sauce. It's got a sweet taste and a short burn perfect for burritos. But preferably steak burritos.   

Baby Clydesdale Sriracha

Their mascot doubles as a warning label.

This is hot sh*t in every sense. Like fireworks that change color, BC is gonna hurt you in a couple different ways. There's depth to the hurt, is what I'm saying. It's gonna make you stop and think about just how badly you need another bite of eggroll. If Tabasco is budweiser, then this is a fine sipping whisky.
 

Happy Hangover day!

Can someone turn the lights down please?  ....thanks.