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Sunday, April 9, 2017

P5 is... ok, I guess.



Persona 5's good. Pretty good, even. Good enough so that the near decade wait was worth it. I'm not saying you need to rush out and buy it, but there is a nice bonsai-like feeling tending to the day to day grind of being a japaneese teenag-... what the hell do you mean it's been 6 days?

6 days?! Then why does it feel like I've just started?! This game is the closest thing humanity has to a f**king time machine



Wednesday, April 5, 2017

9 and 1/2 years later...



...and we have a new persona game! I broke a week long solemn vow not to buy it until I finished Horizon. But I hit a really good stopping point just after midnight on tuesday . What was I supposed to do? Respect Chance's friendship?! Probably.

Though I'd feel worse about it if it wasn't so. Damn. Magnificently Japanese.


Monday, April 3, 2017

What the hell, April Fools?!

This is why reddit won't shut up about szechuan sauce.

Sometime 12 years ago April Fools must have became a chapter in a universal MBA text book. Since then, every marketing department across the world tries to do... something on April 1st. Most years I don't mind being burned a little but this time April Fools hurt me. Real bad.

The season premiere of Rick and Morty came and went while I slept off a 14 hour shift. There is nowhere I can legally watch it for at least a week. It's been almost 2 years since the last season ended and now my corporeal  shell can no longer contain my rage. That's f**ked, AF. That's f**ked to the nth degree. You've wounded me. I don't think we can be friends anymore.


Friday, March 31, 2017

I've been distracted.



The world of entertainment has so much to talk about right now, but I find myself silent. Because it's raining dropped shoes in the world of politics. Kinda like how John McCain said it would. We haven't had a political scandal like this in decades and the journalist in me can't get enough of it. I'm just endlessly refreshing Politico over here.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Andromeda continues to impress and vex in equal measure.



Just when I think I'm falling in love with Andromeda it does something stupid like make a character say "let's get out of here" or "we got company." Screen writing 101 should have made those radioactive to a writer worth half a damn. But then I go on Drak's loyalty mission where we get into a spectacularly bro-mantic chase for a stolen seed vault and I forget it's flaws for a while. It even gave me my favorite ME gun yet, a space age revolver that just melts my heart. Accurate enough for off hand head shots yet still decent at long range with a scope. Perfect for sniping and close range "where the f**k did you come from?!" moments. So I basically use it all the time.

Can't say for sure whether everyone should play this eventually, but $60 isn't worth it for most of you. Because most of you hated the first ME. Unless sci-fi western stuff is as much your thing as it is mine.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Your emails are all pretty funny.




Good on you, Andromeda.You're really no where near as bad as I feared. Doomed to be the red headed step child of the Bioware library, but still genuinely fun. Also thanks for getting DA2 out of the dog house, it never deserved the rap it got. Avaline forever!

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

ME:Andromeda is... sumthin'.

'Scuse me for Goldbluming but this game is just... ummmmm... well, yeah.


I've gone through some mental gymnastics to appreciate Andromeda. I'm pretending this came out two years after ME3 and I've put off buying it until they remastered it. Because this couldn't possibly have been in development for 6 years. Because that would be a goddamned tragedy.

Everything you've heard about the first hour or two is true. ME's dialogue wasn't exactly Mamet* at the best of times, yet this manages to be a pale imitation of that. I'm still in, though. There's no question it's the worst cast in the series but that's still good enough. At least for me... at least for now.

There is still one amazing thing Andromeda's got that the originals don't have and that thing is jetpack fights. 

Motherf*&%ing Jetpack Fights. That is all.


*look how crazy young Spacey is! I bet the guy passed for 50 in his 30's