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Monday, May 9, 2016

Friday, May 6, 2016

I kinda like Battleborn. No wait... I really like Battleborn.

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But I'm a special case. The only online multi-player anything I've ever really sunk any time into was  Mass Effect 3. So... if that helped you lick your narrative scarred wounds like me I think you'll really dig Battleborn.

Folks are giving it a half-hearted thumbs down and I can't blame anyone for feeling that way. I've got a really specific taste. This is a game that's as easy or hard as you wanna make it. Are you looking to waste some time till you sober up enough to go to bed (not autobiographical at all), then there's a character for you!

He punches stuff, racks up a combo, then punches stuff harder. He's perfect.
You can seriously have a great time just healing tanks and setting up defenses as I discovered trying to hunt a non aggression achievement. Turns out I read it wrong and didn't have to avoid doing any damage, but there's a lot to do if you just hate shooters... that's kind of amazing. But I was still leaning towards the 7.5 to 6 the critics were telling me about. Then I found my favorite character:


She's the frikkin' best. She can buff friendly shields, steal enemy shields, she can get head shots like it's nothing... there's a wrist mounted shotgun laser, oh! and the glowing eye patch. Love that thing. I could see myself spending at least another 15 hours with the game just with her healer/rogue hybrid awesomeness. After my first match it felt like Gearbox had made a character just for me. I love headshots, de-buffs, and healin'.  If I find just one more character like her that's worth $40 to me right there.

But again guys, I haven't played a multiplayer game in years. Take my enthusiasm with a grain of salt if that's your wheel house.


Tuesday, May 3, 2016

I need to talk about Gearbox.


I've never gotten into mobas or even any multiplayer shooters and I've always wanted to break out of my single player shell but I'll be damned if ANY multiplayer games really appeal to me. Gearbox may turn me around, even though I hardly ever played Borderlands co op.

So I am going to pick up Battleborn. Maybe this'll be something I can really sink into, or I end up helping BL3 off the ground. Either situation works out for me.

I just trust these guys, wait dammit, hear me out! So what if Randy Pitchford is a bit of a snake oil salesman? He made Borderlands, that carries a lot of weight for me as BL2 is in my top 3 of all time. I honestly don't care he siphoned funds off of colonial marines to pay for it. He gamed the system to make a great game. The Alien license would be fine, in fact, we never would have gotten Isolation if CM hadn't bombed so hard. Think about it.

And hey, we all seem to forget that Drukmann pushed Amy Henning out of Naughty Dog because he didn't want another strong creative voice drawing focus. I just pulled that out of my ass but that story has the air of a creative spat that put a hard working female voice out of an industry starved for it. Her work on Uncharted 4, 8 f**king months worth, couldn't have been that bad. But Naughty Dog makes great games... so we forgive and forget. I lean toward the guy who (allegedly) stole money from a huge corporation then the guy who was threatened by a woman.

I'm not saying Pitchford isn't a snake oil salesman. But I'm also saying he's an easy target who does give a damn about games. Only his games... but his games are fun, inclusive, and rich. As far as industry evils go I'd say he's one of the lesser.


Victory achieved +2


And the Lord of Cinder goes down for the second time. Woo! I beat a souls game on plus! Does this mean that 3 really is the easiest in the series?  ...Probably. Oh well.



GLOWSTICK DANCE!!!!!

You have no idea how long I've waited for the perfect time to use this gif.

Monday, May 2, 2016

I haven't laughed this hard in years.



Larry Wilmore killed in the toughest room in the world the other night. He gave a set like it was the last thing anyone would ever get to say about the President. By Christ he made it count.


Sunday, May 1, 2016

Muffaletta Story.



 Just picked up a muffaletta  and on the bag the lady wrote "Muff." While that sure is what I wish I was having for dinner... this'll do.



This'll do.


Friday, April 29, 2016

Crackpot Confession: I've never beat a Souls game twice.

So. Sad.

I love the Souls games. They've never made me all that angry and I've never truly hit a brick wall with any game in the series. Until I beat them and then I get to play "new game +"which basically means I get to start a new game with all my money and my stuff, the catch being that it's much harder. I've made it halfway in NG+ and gave out every time. EVERY TIME!

The first game's NG+ was enough of a bastard but no one is talking about how downright diabolical first sin's mode is. Seriously, the biggest challenge in the entire franchise is in that game, red headed step child though it may be. It took the hardest encounters, turned them up, and then it can throw multiple phantoms at you at the same time. If you want an evil fan mod in your Dark Souls you should seriously check that out. I love DS2...

But yeah, I'm about at the right time in 3. The halfway point. Where my maxed out equipment and stats can't help me anymore. I've hit the ceiling and now have to rely on my own raw skill. Let's see if it works this time.