Meanwhile... in Andromeda

"....crap."

Everything is... fine. I don't know. This is only a tech demo but still, I'm really bored already. Bioware face is still there (boo) and I didn't buy a single line of dialogue coming out of any character's mouth. Now I realize this is only a tiny fraction of the actual game but this does put a few things into perspective. Like how I would have fired the head writer too.

A very special dot of light.

Did you know Brian May (lead queen guitarist) is a respected astrophysicist? Well he is and in honor of Freddie's 70th birthday Freddie gets his very own asteroid. Have a look:

Clancy Brown and Matt Gourley. Together at last.

Who the hell are those 2? Well one's a character actor who was in the Shawshank Redemption/is Mr. Krabs. The other is a unfairly obscure improv comedian. Gourley has a show that's all about the bit players in great movies called "I was there too" and it's wonderful. You should seriously consider giving a listen. Especially the one where Matt's cold open is him having a spat with Siri. Calls her a homewrecker... I want his improv powers.

I know it's wrong.

I've become a bit of an apologist of late. I've let my love of Borderlands shield me from the... uh, creative advertising of the disaster that was Aliens: Colonial Marines. That game was a polished turd, no two ways about it. Randy Pitchford lied to the public's face about it multiple times and still claims he did nothing wrong. The thing is though, those lies helped make Borderlands 2. A game second only to New Vegas in terms of sheer hours logged. Is it so wrong to overlook this con job if it gave you your second favorite game ever? Maybe. I don't know.

I don't know...

Me and my old college bud are still playing it and god help me, I can't get enough. Games this funny, this lovingly crafted, this wide, and this deep are so f&**ing rare; I don't care SEGA got fleeced and Aliens fans got duped. But I know I should, which is why I keep bringing it up. Aw well. Maybe it's Borderlands 3 that gets shafted in favor of anouther game series I don't care about next time. Maybe some day I'll get the com-upends my schadenfreude deserves. Battleborn being the bomb it was that is not the least likely scenario.

Is The Witcher 3's DLC worth $24?

Yes, I am wearing donkey ears and no I won't take them off.

The cutscenes are worth $24. I've been up to my waist in W3 for the past week or so since PCgamer made it the greatest PC game of all time. I'll get more in detail when I finally review the whole game for real as I honestly forgot I haven't done that yet. Suffice it to say, the game grew a lot on me before I dipped my toe into it's dlc. Now that I have? Well... holy sh*t hearts of stone is amazing. Holy. Sh*t.

*YAWN* Thanks Witcher 3!

Sleep tight, buddy.

Not to knock a game for being too heady at times, but Witcher 3 is actually helping me sleep! Each of the witcher contracts in the game are like bite sized mysteries. They won't dove tail into Geralt's politically dense main story but they won't leave you hanging like other side quests can.

They have beginnings, middles, and ends. Like a fun noire paperback on my night stand, I can thumb through a contract or two and not feel like I'm being dragged through too many gameplay loops. I can get my fix and stop whenever my eyelids get heavy. Witcher 3 isn't afraid of me putting it down for good. It knows I'll be back.

Today's Existential Crisis:

Worrying about losing my hair is only going to make me loose it faster.

Goodnight everybody! Tip your servers...

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Jesus sh*t Sony, you're serious?

PlayStation is coming to pc. I... I don't know what to say. I would have bet my entire life savings on this never happening but now that it has (or is going to) I can see the logic. $60 a unit is no longer cutting it as budgets balloon out of control. I'm of the mind that $100+ special editions were a sly way of gauging just how much people were willing to pay for games. This move suggests the resounding answer to that question was "not more than 60 bones."

Well damn, if the subscription fee isn't insane I will definitely sign up for a month or two. Lord knows I won't want to hold onto PlayStation's back catalogue forever.

UPDATE: I've seen the list of games. I am unimpressed. Man... that was a fleeting high.

8. Hazmat Suit.

You can tell a lot about a composer's mettle by how they handle their montages. When almost the entire focus is on the music plenty can go wrong. The sad truth is the vast majority of soundtracks don't hold up outside the thrall of the film and there's nothing necessarily wrong with that. A good soundtrack doesn't have to stand on it's own... but the great ones always do.

So what we have here is something very similar to the end credits suite but in a slightly lower gear. The 10 note theme still works marvelously and Bear always puts a new kind of crescendo in each reprise because he's a total eff'in pro like that.

Soundtrack of the Week

There's always a story playing in my head. Sometimes it's something I've seen and sometimes it's something I've written. Either way, it demands music! Here's what the inside of my head sounds like this week:

If this becomes a regular thing, Bear Mccreary is going to be on here a lot. He's a genius and 10 Cloverfield Lane is already one of my favorites. The entire score is based around one 10 note (get it?!) theme and I should find it grating or annoying after a while but somehow I haven't. It's like a John Williams horror score, but not exactly. It has a bite Williams never had and yet it's got a sense of whimsy that honestly has no place in this movie. That's something Bear does sometimes. He puts moods and feelings into projects that shouldn't fit, but somehow they do. The lighter tones seem to speak to Howard's dangerously childish feelings toward women which serves to make his character all the more pitiful... and unsettling.

This is seriously one of the best horror/thriller scores I've ever heard and I hope you'll give this a shot. If soundtracks are at all your thing. Even for me, I'll admit this is pushing it. But goddammit you guys, I love soundtracks!

Striking Internet Gold

The internet is so full of people saying so much we can't find all the writing worth reading. But sometimes you're listlessly scrolling through a BMD comment section and sometimes someone holds up a nugget of gold: The most perfect summery of Bond's character arc in Casino Royale.

 

Digital Chicken Soup

Sometimes your worst enemy is yourself. I just had a dream that it was 8 years in the future and I had spent it all working in a decrepit strip mall pet store. Have I mentioned my sub-conscience is a motherf***er? Well he is, and I got dem' blues sumthin' fierce. Still, I think I know how to fix em':

2 years on, The Stick of Truth has aged marvelously. Now that I've come to grips with it's length, given it's 4 year development I wasn't thrilled that it clocked in barely under 10 hours, I appreciate it for it's successes. Like how it's basically a 4 part South Park episode with a solid action RPG underneath. It's still so damn funny and that's exactly what I need right now.

Oh, also my boss was Jimmy Pesto from Bob's Burgers. Because dreams are dumb.

What my buddy thinks of no man's sky

Thanks Patrick!

I may not have a dog in this fight yet and I won't until it costs at least half as much as it does now, but my friend got his hands on it and he's luvin' it. He regaled me with a tale of how he spent 45 minutes trying to escape from a hole in a mountain made entirely of gold. I'm not sold yet, but a couple more stories like that and I might ponder it. But over a year ago I wasn't convinced there would actually be anything to do in NMS. It's sad to see a butt-ton of critics and commenters concede that exact sentiment.

One of those days.

Somedays I get home from work and I'll try to bake something interesting. A ziti or this awesome teriyaki shepherd's pie that one time. Nothing truly "Awful" happened today but man... I'm done. I have a small tub of microwavable mashed potatoes and I have a simple 3 step plan for it. I'm gonna drown it in sriracha, tie my hands behind my back and just embarrass myself. Good day to you all!

The Jimquisition is down... becasue he didn't like No Man's Sky

Allegedly his review of No man's Sky is posted. But you can't see it. The promise of NMS, the idea that procedural generation has finally cracked "infinite" content has turned mere fandom into a cottage religion. When the release date was pushed back, the devs got death threats. When Jim gave a heavy sigh and said this wasn't his bag... they gave his site a dos attack. Classy as usual, gentleman.

Here's an idea: The Idea Channel is my favorite thing PBS has ever made

I love me some pop philosophy. Seeing as the scant few "academic" philosophers I've meet were thick and elitist creeps (though I'm sure most of you are quite lovely) I've always wanted some of their better ideas to break into the main stream.

I'm still shocked learning about logical fallacies isn't part of the core curriculum. Just think how much harder politicians would have to work if every voter knew what an ad hominem attack was! Mike Rugnetta is the perfect host for what could easily devolve into navel gazing tripe no one cares to finish listening to. He's affable, seriously funny, and knows exactly where he's going to loose the audience so he can turn to the camera and tell everyone to bear with the material. Because it'll be worth it!

Making philosophy accessible is a thankless job and I salute his years of service!

History for the Hardcore

I think I talked about Hardcore Game of Thrones a while back. It was cute seeing a guy managing to have an interesting lecture about all the stuff that happened outside the books. But he was mocking Dan Carlin's Hardcore History and since I'm deep in Inquisition (and I need a good  podcast to make it through that game's grindier aspects) I thought I'd give his series on the lead up to the Cold War a shot. It was 4 hours long and it. Was. Awesome.

It's a bird's eye view of America's transition into foreign affairs and the fall of the Russian Czars. If you think you know everything about either of those events Carlin's editorial voice compares and contrasts them both in ways that are worth your time.

Huh... Inquisition's dlc ain't half bad.

Bioware's DLC has always been up and down. Sometimes you get something as amazing as Shadow Broker or a place holding shrug like Arrival. It doesn't help that they never EVER drop in price and while I'm in rant mode, keeping ME2 dlc at where it launched at is ludicrous. I wouldn't buy the entire game at the price they're selling that stuff for.

But that being said, I've finally got around to playing Descent. I still don't know why I dropped $15 on this thing and didn't play it for 5 months (past-me is getting a stern talking to) because it really isn't worth more than $8. But now that I have it... it's a huge awesome dungeon! The kind I wish they had leading up to, oh I don't know, the finale? I'm sorry, but if the only thing beyond your game's point of no return is a single unremarkable boss fight you f**ked up. Rushed finales are a huge pet peeve of mine.

After the week I've had; a huge awesome dungeon that forces you to change up your tactics and makes you sweat running out of potions makes me happy. The Jaws of Hawken is up next. Let's see if I like it enough to buy Tresspaser and complete the set. Of course that would require me to care about Solus and his limp end credits betrayal. Sometimes having a character do one or two interesting things isn't enough to make up for how boring (and yet somehow irritating) they were before.

I liked Anders more than you. Anders.

You're goddamned right, America.

The dignified end of the party of Lincoln

I've never tried to get this political on the crackpot before but I feel as if I've been carrying a weight on my shoulders for the past year. Not so much about Trump as what he represented. Was he the sign of a party's death throes as it cast out all it's moderates? Or was this the start of a neo-white power movement with a real shot at an entire branch of government? If recent polls and Nate Silver are to be believed (and aside from Trump in general his track record is as close to prophecy as we'll ever get) if the election were held today Hillary has a 92% chance of winning.

I've been listening to so much gospel today, guys.

Let that wash over you. I honestly didn't think this many republicans could get over themselves to do the right thing. I thought this election would see 40% voting for a man who would give away all responsibility of the office and just sit on the oval throne. Occasionally venturing out to go boar hunting. I never seriously thought Hillary could hit these numbers. This time 4 years ago Obama and Romney were practically tied and even then the polls skewed too conservative. Also keep in mind there hasn't been a single debate yet!

The price of liberty is constant vigilance so y'all better not get too comfortable. If you don't want Trump you have to vote for Hillary. Simple as that. I don't care what you think about her, you can't say she's even remotely similar to him in terms of pure competence. It's sad it's come to this but here we are. Even still... I haven't been this proud of my country in years.

What do Rick and Morty and a murder trial have in common?

There was a batsh*t insane murder trial deposition in Mississippi a few months ago. The Rick and Morty crew found it genuinely profound. So they did the only thing they could, cast Rick as the defendant and Morty as the judge. What follows is the most amazing conversation that's ever happened.

I'm genuinely curious if that video stays up longer than two days.

Wait... do I still have Origin?

I completely forgot Origin even existed...

I felt the need to dip back into Inquisition and I realized something. I haven't used Origin in 7 months. I haven't bought a game for it in almost 2 years. What the hell is your problem EA? Is steam some sort of AI hivemind and you're actually fighting a shadow war on behalf of humanity's free will? Because if you aren't, either make games that make your platform matter or I'll... I'LL...

I'll still jump though whatever hoops you need so long as Bioware keeps bringing the goods.

I just discovered pierogi...

Yeah, yeah, slow news week. But wow, if someone had just told me pierogi was mashed potatoes/anything awesome n' savory in a pastry I would have been on board years ago. I've wasted so much time...

Stranger Things Review: Will the Wise casts Fireball.

Bring him home.

Right now I'm halfway through seeing Stranger Things.The second time. As soon as I was finished with Netflix's new 8 hour mini series I started it right up again. Stranger Things is made of a lot of moving parts, though sadly, none of those parts are original. Every character and story has been told before in either a Stephan King paperback or a Spielberg blockbuster. Though I'm beginning think that maybe, just maybe, originality is overrated.

It took a while before I was hooked, about 2 and a half episodes. I began to clue into what each of the main stories were referencing and I was ready for the Duffer brothers (fellow Durham natives!) to surprise me. But it didn't surprise me. Except for a few great monster attack scenes nothing the show ever did was "surprising." So what's so good about it? Damn near everything. Every set, every actor, every line of dialogue, every twist in the narrative's road was as good or better than anything either aforementioned Stephen has ever done. I still think a project needs at least a spark of originality to earn a full A+ but this is the most lovable A- I've ever reviewed.

But what's it all about? That's an intense line of questioning. I'm not sure I can even say without spoiling too much, but here goes. When it's focused on the kids and their journey with a CIA experiment, it's ET. When we follow the town Sheriff as he falls further down the rabbit hole of a legit government conspiracy, it's Jaws. There's also a smattering of Pretty in Pink, Altered States, Close Encounters, and you get the idea. It isn't lost on me that this should be a joyless slurry of other artist's better ideas watered down into nothing. But somehow they manage to turn lead into gold.

Would you take LSD with this man?

I'd love to go deeper into the story but it's only 8 hours long and mapping out each main thread would hurt more than it would help. But I'll say this; all the major stuff like the conspiracy, the nature of 11, and the man in the rubber suit are all well above average. It's the little things that make the whole project stand out. Like how all the child actors, even the silent 2 year old sister, say so much with their faces and not just their words. But it's not as if these kids aren't already hitting laugh lines like pros and sometimes even showing up the teenagers. Speaking of, there's also a legitimately great teenage love triangle involving the most 3 dimensional cocky jock character I've ever seen.

Ultimately the aspect that really sets it apart from the competition is it's size and structure. It's  essentially an 8 hour movie with 7 act breaks. That sounds exhausting doesn't it? It isn't. I tore through the first 5 in half a day. The entire season is expertly paced and I know that might not sound as sexy as a show that's more original or better written, but there is barely a minute of fat on it's bones. It's so well paced it forced me to notice how often so many other great shows waste their time. I'll give you an example: a man drinking in a bar has critical information but wises up before telling too much. In a show with 13 episodes the off duty sheriff would resign to the fact he didn't get the whole story and would try again next week. In Stranger Things the sheriff follows him to his car and beats the rest out of him.

If those walls could talk, they'd scream.

There's tons of moments like that where the writing feints a step towards closing the mystery box only to flip the box over and dump it all out. It's such a glorious breath of fresh air after this year's Game of Thrones and Preacher. Both personal favorites, but both prone to sit on their hands far too long than I'm willing to stand sometimes. Now that I'm almost done (again) I can say it definitely holds up. Every plot hole I marked the first time was actually solved by quick stuff I didn't bother to notice. Plotting that was more substantial than a throw away line excusing a short cut. It took two viewings to really pick up how deliberate nearly every scene is. It was designed to be watched again, is what I'm saying.

Guys, there hasn't been a first season this good in almost 6 years. All the heart, mystery, humor, fear, and energy you miss from the 80's golden age of adventure is in here. Good as new, if not maybe a teensy bit better. I'll say it, the Stephens have two genuinely worthy successors on their hands. And they're from Durham North Carolina! Did I mention they're from Durham? Well they super are.

If she doesn't get an Emmy nom, I swear to god I'll......

Nothing makes sense anymore.

There will a partition in the history of civilization as momentous as the Common Era. The year 2017 will be the first year of PDP. Post Detective Pikachu. I swear I had a dream like this once...

Here's the opening to Stranger Things:

But not because this is my new favorite thing in the world right now. No... it's for some other reason.

Stranger Things is the best story Netflix has ever told.

This is a Goonies-Halloween-Close Encounters-ET smoothie. It's pretty tasty.

I tell ya what guys, after seeing a few tepid reviews, I did not expect to like ST as much as I do. I goddamn love it. I'm halfway through and I am hooked, do you hear me?, I am damn near flopping on the deck of the good ship Netflix. The actors are good, but the script and story structure are even better. Master class even. It looks like a sappy speilburgian love letter because that's what the Duffer Brothers want you to see. I'll save the rest for a review, but christ guys... this is good TV. 

What the hell, Nerds?!

Miss Jones, I am so sorry.

Sometimes you're in too deep to see it. You're so happy to meet someone else that's played the dlc to New Vegas that you're willing to look past faults in their character. I'm not a nerd because I play and write about video games. I'm a nerd because I can yell about the Mass Effect 3 ending for an hour straight. I'm incredibly passionate about something that isn't main stream. But I would never be this upset if the new ME crew was all women. And I would never ever think about attacking the actor as if they were responsible.

The fact that the new Ghostbusters trailer is the most hated video on the internet is one thing. The fact that the brunt of the vitriol landed at the twitter account of Leslie Jones is a whole new circle of nerd hell. The fact she's had to quit twitter because of the non-stop siege from anonymous racist cowards is unacceptable. I have been so incredibly naive about nerds and gamer culture in general. They can be echo chambers of hate just as effective as tea party radio. I wish it wasn't so, but here we are. A talented comedian gave a critically lauded performance and all some nerds could think to do was call her a n***r.

That's just f***ing amazing, guys.

I'm... busy.

Sorry about the delay folks. Just haven't been feeling too writey lately. Been picking up some extra shifts, 'cause I got a $1200 dental surgery I don't have the money for. Could be worse, though. it's just the one tooth and the procedure is a grand a tooth. Counting my blessings where I can!

Marco Polo: Mild Horses.

Cut out every scene he's not in and it becomes a better show.

I made it to the end of the second season of Netflix's most expensive show. Most people have no idea it exists... and honestly I can't blame them. There's embers of greatness deep in it's soapy bullsh*t but I did not enjoy the ride a third of the time. So much so, I'm not even bothering to do a formal review.

It's funny when people say game of thrones wouldn't be half as good if it weren't for it's budget. That's now scientifically not true. Marco Polo (which was clearly named "Khan" or something before a suit made them change it) is so maddeningly obsessed with being great that it becomes mediocre. Acting ability fluctuates wildly from character to character and too many of them are pitifully out of their league.

Not that the writing does them many favors but I can now see I'm becoming a bit of a dick. It gets a solid 7 out of 10 but that's only because you can close your eyes and imagine all these pieces fitting together better. The story of the great Kublai Khan should be, and almost is, much more compelling than this.

Sometimes work is the best thing.

Breakups suck, but sweating like a razorback hog at work for 20 hours a weekend is oddly
therapeutic. The lunch rush broke the whole damn bakery today and work related mania is just the thing to keep me out of my head. Which, if done for long enough, means I won't remember what I was so screwed up about in the first place.

Look at this fool:

My save got corrupted a while back and so far the only real difference is that my A-squad doesn't show up in the title screen anymore. A fact that bummed me out until I saw this middle aged Hispanic family man in pony tails and ballerina lace skinny jeans. That just made my whole damn day!

XCOM 2? I'm sorry I yelled.

XCOM 2 is the best game I never reviewed. Because as great as it is, make no mistake it's abso-f**kin-lutly amazing, it ran like crap. Like. CRAP. The gtx 980 was top o' the line and I was pulling 40-50 frames with the fxaa turned off! In layman's terms, the effect that makes edges less jaggy n' ugly was such a prissy performance hog, the forums basically told you to turn it off. That's some beta test version bullsh*t right there.

When the news came out that X2 was coming to consoles I choked on my coffee. This s**t barely ran on a relatively monster graphics card and processor. How in the hell did they get this thing up on what is essentially a couple of 7 year old gaming pc's?

So I checked back into X2... and I am pleased. I mean, I'll need to fork over $450 for a lovely 1070 to get everything running buttery smooth. But this, this is a solid 25% upgrade across the board. I want my nail-biting POV shots to run flawlessly. When my sniper is the last guy to take his turn and he lines up a shot on a faceless barreling toward my panicking medic, I want to be in the moment. The performance level right now gives me that. And thus, I am now content.

Pixar promises to lay off the sequels for a while.

Just one or two or three more hits. Tops.

Pixar has been hitting the sequels pretty hard this decade. While I'd admit that outside of the Cars series not one of those sequels (and even the good dinosaur if I'm honest) are "bad." Hell, I'll defend Monsters University as having one of the most devastating coming of age character arcs... ever. But it seems Pixar's golden years are quickly fading even after coups like Inside Out. Which was tremendous. But the C+'s are staring to out number the straight A's it used to have and I've been worried for years. Disney's chief animation studio, quite frankly, trounced Big P this year with Zootopia. The best film about American racial tension I have ever seen.

We just have to muddle through Cars 3(...nah.), The Incredibles 2 (I'm down) Toy Story 4 (No. Why?!) to get to P's solemn pinky swear it will try as hard as it did in the beginning. Hey, I get it. If I was a creative company with a payroll I'd seriously consider sure bets like Toy Story sequels to keep the great Disney beast fed. But since Disney can stand on it's own 2 feet now, I'm so jazzed Zootopia did as well as it has, Pixar now has the means to fight  the war to win the world's imagination. Again.

DUDE! There's been a significant breakthrough in battery life research, dude.

No matter how good we have it, people as a species are never satisfied. So what if there is a magical rectangle in our pocket that gives us immediate access to our friends, family, cabs, and the near entirety of all great works of literature? The battery life sucks. BALLS. Our garden variety lithium ion batteries break after only 7,000 charges.

If the apocalypse struck tomorrow nearly all electronic devices would be bricks within 2 years. But the intrepid researchers at UCI have found something. Using gold nano fibers in an electrolyte gel made of plexiglass... well let's just say they made it to 200,000 mutha fukin' charges.

This is still decades away from mass production, but I distinctly remember a TIME article years ago had scientists grumbling about it not being possible. Basically this is the biggest step forward for batteries since 1989.

Blade Runner in Glorious Watercolor.

Thanks, Daniel Scott Gabriel Murray!

This came up on the podcast a few days ago. Thought I'd enshrine it here:

First one's free....

The first episode of Outcast is on you tube for your demonic possession based pleasure. If nothing else (and this show is something else) the opening sequence is the best I've seen since Dexter.

DAMN It's good to be back.

After a little fun trouble shooting (one of the great joys of playing old pc games) I'm back in Darksiders II.  Most forgotten gems will get a shout out from me but little else. You're on your own, "Xcom: The Bureau!" But Darksiders II is the underappreciated hill I choose to die on. Sure it hardly has any original ideas and the 2 games amount to what is essentially just Todd McFarland's Zelda. But it's made up of so many moving parts that all fit together so perfectly! It also helps that it's got just enough wit and humor to make the bog-standard sword and sorcery narrative go down smooth.

It's art direction is, quite frankly, age proof. It's loot, combat, and platforming are all flawless. If you haven't given 2 a shot, please do. What else are steam sales for?

I just keep telling myself it's a joke.

Right? I'm laughing... that means it's funny! Right?!

Ok... the new ghostbuster's theme song is "by committee " garbage.

Them' Koreans sure know how to poster.

I'm still holding out hope the new Ghostbusters movie will, at the very least, skirt by on it's amazing cast. But the audio production side is in CRISIS. This is a classic "what do the kids like these days?" reverse engineered disaster. Which is weird because fallout boy played ball with Big Hero Six a few years back and while it may not be that great of a song, it's got one hell of an instrumental hook.

What the hell, Fallout Boy? What. The. HELL?! 

 

I've made a huge mistake.

Gaze into the abyss and despair.

Do you like Kirkland natural peanut butter? Really? You do? You seriously wished peanut butter was more like oily roofing tar? Because... Jesus I can't eat this sh*t. I'm usually on board for leaner, less sugary food. But not like this. Not like this. See, most food passes through one's mouth with relative ease. This crap establishes occupation forces. It took me almost 15 minutes to get through two pieces of toast.

It's like spreadable cardboard, gritty and flavorless. I've never ever thrown out $10 worth of groceries, but if you made me choose between finishing these two jars of super glue and a bullet to the brain, I'd really have to think about

Keanu and Popstar flopped really hard, you guys.

Two well received comedies in the last couple months have been box office poison. Keanu could only scare up 9 million and Popstar... Popstar barely cleared 4. You know what? Fine. Who needs movies, Comedy? You've been amazing these last 10 years on tv. Parks and Rec, Key and Peele, Bojack Horseman, and way too many others to name here have all flourished under reasonable budgets.  Plus the last best picture they gave you was in the 70's. The goddamn 70's.

The Academy never respected you, Comedy. Maybe this split is for the best.

Chris Avellone has arrived.

The man I created a twitter account for the sole purpose to tweet at has been writing a big budget shooter. Prey is now officially a Chris Avelonne joint... actually it looks like he just punched it up a bit. Still! He's helping mold actual facial animation that isn't frozen in a dead eyed stare. I love New Vegas way more than the next guy and still... that facial animation aged like milk. I could NOT be more pumped for this sci-fi ground-hog-day shooter rigamarole.

.@DumbCerb No - the amazing @RicardoBare and @rafcolantonio came to me w/ the story, and I was like, "fuck yes, I'd love to help."

— Chris Avellone (@ChrisAvellone) June 13, 2016

Jesus LORD, do I want a domesticated fox

50 years ago soviet scientists bred the aggression out of wild foxes to learn how dogs came from wolves. Though arcane and torturous international trade dealings some people have gotten their hands on a couple "domesticated" foxes. Half of a cat's hunter instincts with half of a dog's high energy playfulness makes a pet hybrid I didn't know I needed in my life. I would LOVE it if I came home to a dog that would play-stalk me like a delightful fuzzy kato.

For now I'll just have to settle for youtube videos...

Crackpot Theory: Battleborn's Loot is tactically brilliant.

BB may have a soft spot in my heart but my eyes are not immune to it's shortcomings. If you're having second thoughts, by all means, wait for a $30 price drop. That's fair. But I do want to talk about the loot because it's AMAZING.

They tweak everything from running speed, area of effect skill cooldown times, sprinting speed, shield piercing, healing power, just anything and everything. But you can only use 3 at a time and it's usefulness usually comes at an equal price. They all run on an in-match currency called shards. Low level loot'll run you about 300 shards. Epic loot like the generous refund policy up there is worth a whooping 1800! There is no way you'll be able to use it until about halfway through a campaign level and that can be an eternity. Even if you have the greatest possible loadout, if you're not "good" you're gonna get wiped long before you have a chance to use any of it.

But there is an opposite side to that spectrum. Most white loot is garbage, but some come with no shard cost at all! You can just boot em' up immediately. Like this one do-dad that gives me 1.5 healz per second at the cost of -15% reload speed. A harsh trade off for a sniper... but what about a melee character that has no reload at all? You could run the board early in a PVP match and I have done so!

The checks and balances with Battleborn's loot are polished to a mirror sheen. It's a shame not enough people are playing it. Or even talking about it... siiiiiiiiiiiigh.