Shadowrun Returns, Review: Short, Sweet, and Full of Possibilities

Not every game has to be 20 hours long to prove it's point and Shadowrun Returns will not take any where near that length of time to finish. It's short, there's no way around that, it took me barely 7 hours. But I'm not docking it any points. Why? Because it ended when it had to. I had fleshed out my character as far as I wanted to, the story had reached it's logical end, and as much as I love turn based combat, I was ready to put it down when I finally dealt with Sam's killer.

Shadowrun puts you into a cyber punk fantasy world filled with trolls, elves, dwarves, guns, drugs, corporate conspiracies, and nerps. I don't know what the hell nerps are, but the omnipresent billboards about them made me chuckle. Nerps! I'm an easy laugh.

The main campaign is a story called "Dead Man's Switch" in which a old shadowrunner buddy of yours is murdered after he set up an automatic video message through his lawyer, should his death be ruled unnatural. He's apparently stashed a humongous payday since you saw him last, and becuase he couldn't take it with him, he'll give it all to you if you can find out whodunnit. The murder-mystery noire angle is more than refreshing to see in a fantasy setting. A set up like this is more inclined to introduce and develop characters, rather that spend half it's time shoving it's made up dragon language in your face.That may sound like I have a chip on my shoulder about fantasy stories in games, but that's only half true. I've got a chip on my shoulder about what fantasy games get away with.

But I'm not getting into that now, SR is a great change of pace from the RPG crowd, and it's strictly linear (dun dun dun) structure actually serves to keep the game from watering itself down. Would I have loved some side quests to flesh out the world and help me grind for that last pistol skill? Of course. But thinking about it now, it wouldn't have changed my opinion on it much at all. Unless it told a better story than the campaign, but that's just silly. I also have a few problems with the way the Native American and Haitian characters are depicted but... you what? never mind.



Actually no, It's not ok. The Haitian is literally Baron Samedi from Live and Let Die, it's gross.

Moving on.

The way it plays is just as fun and breezy as the story it tells. You play as any of the typical fantasy roles, but then choose from the less typical fantasy classes like "hacker" or "street samurai." There was no way in hell I wasn't going to try the street samurai. Even though you hand pick your squads for the major missions, your choice of class has a huge bearing on how battles play out. This is no place for a jack of all trades, pick something you want to be good at and throw yourself at it. My 5 points in hacking meant f**k all compared to my pistol and rifle skill. You need to be the strongest version of what class you play, because your back up is only going to be half as powerful.

My samurai's assault rifle automatic attack was, hands down, the most effective skill I had. But the fact only I could learn it and that it could only take on one enemy at a time, and even then only once per turn, meant I couldn't possibly carry my team alone. SR's combat is a bloody ballet of teamwork and skill balance. There are many ways to build a bad squad of shadowrunners and I became intimate with them all. You do not need two hackers. Not ever. But this genius got halfway through the longest mission with two lousy gun hands that couldn't help each other out in cyber space at the same time. Disaster. (Pro tip: Deathsigh the troll and his shotgun is never a slot wasted...oh and don't try melee your first time, this is a gun fight.)

So while some folks may justifiably believe that Kickstarter is a dead end boondoggle, this is proof it can work efficiently and effectively. The game out of the box is worth $20 bucks on the nose, not much more bang for your buck, but you will at least play it twice with a different character on a harder difficulty. The game this will become a year from now is an entirely different story. The tools and assets for everything are included and I'm assured by my more tech savvy buds that it's very easy to use. New crowd sourced content is already rolling in and I say it's only a short matter of time before we start panning some real gold.

But know that Shadowrun Returns is already a gem.

This is seriously a thing that happens in some dude's penthouse.

Bioshock Infinite DLC Reveal

ANYONE WHO HASN'T PLAYED INFINITE PLEASE STOP READING NOW.

Everyone else cool?

M'kay.

The two episode DLC is set in Rapture, a re-imagining of the story from the main game... yeah I was pretty underwhelmed too. We've already had two games explore Rapture, I honestly wanted more of Columbia and am now pretty glad I skipped out on the season pass. This looks like it could go either way at face value.

But far be it from me to judge a game by it's pitch, how does the trailer shape up?

Oh... oh god damn. Ladies and Gentlemen, never bet against Ken Levine. That looks friggn' incredible.

Artemis Fowl is now a Disney Property.

StickyLeaf!

The only surprising thing about this is that it's only just become a project. I remember way back in my middle school days how controversial it was. There was a line drawn. One sided with Art, the other with Harry and never the twain would meet. I was on the Harry side and never really gave Art a chance, but apparently its pretty good and will hopefully be a pretty good movie.

Fantasy, thief caper, spy thriller? It would be hard not to have a good time at that movie... unless it gets Percy Jacksoned.

The Phil Fish Affair: Why both sides are acting like children.

If he actually ate a bullet next week, you wouldn't be surprised.

So anyone remotely interesting in gaming journalism has heard about Phil Fish's (developer of Fez) dramatic departure from the industry. A twitter exchange that will live in infamy (for 6 months at the most) exposed a raw nerve of an already outspoken independent developer. It all started with GT's podcast "invisible walls" particularly with Marcus Beer's segment on how Jonathan Blow (braid dev) and Fish chose to comment on Xbox One financially embracing the indie scene.

Fish and Blow acted like jerks, no question. They both appeared in the wonderful Indie Game: The Movie, officially making them even more prominent public figures in the gaming world. In fact its fair to say that its at least 60-70% Fish's movie. They're free to decline to comment, but they bit the hand that fed them so hard its a news story in of itself. That's where Marcus Beer comes in, a hilarious commentator with the best BS detector in the business. I agree with everything he says, but in this case I do not agree with his methods.

Years ago...like 2, my journalism professor drew me aside after I had turned in a review for The Other Guys. He liked it well enough, but he had issues with how I referred to Mark Wahlberg. You see, I called him by his real name once in the beginning, but for the rest of the review he was "Marky Mark." I told him I just thought it was funny, he shrugged and said, "Yeah but is he funny in the movie?" I said yeah. "Does he hold the movie back?" I said, no. "Well then, you're being a jerk for no reason."

A futurama reference, sure, but this is still miles away from stable behavior.

Beer makes a point about calling Fish "BlowFish" which is a pretty damn funny couple mash up name, but like "Marky" serves no real editorial purpose. Yes, if the both of them had their noses upturned any further they'd crack their necks, but it doesn't mean you need to spend ten straight minutes attacking their art and their character.

(for fairness's sake this is me doing a similar story on Zack Snyder)

I'm not saying Beer is responsible for Fish's digital temper tantrum, but he sure as hell isn't blameless. We have no idea what's going on in Fish's life right now, it could be a waking nightmare, he could have been stood up at the alter for all I know. Maybe his life is fine and this balloon was going to pop eventually whether Beer said anything or not. But why be partially responsible for someone's public display of instability? I doubt that's what Beer wanted, and if I was ever responsible for something like that I'd try to do everything I could to patch it up.

In my knee jerk opinion, Fish's rambling rage-quit is just as childish as Beer's refusal to apologize. It doesn't matter if you're right and 90% of the internet agrees with you. Not to me, you really hurt someone, and you should at least try to shake his hand. Fish may not accept, but that's seriously not the point.

Subtle, he ain't.

Freshly STEAMed: Darksiders II Review

 Wrote this one last august, but since steam has an 80% discount up until Monday (7/29/13) I thought "Hey, might as well try to get some more folks on the bandwagon." A bandwagon stuck in IP hot potato hell...but still, I love this game. I'll let my past self explain why (in tiny text I couldn't reformat):

Sometimes a remix can feel just as fresh and invigorating as originality. Originality can be strange and unrefined. Why not make something special by mixing in a ton of bits and bobs people already love, like trail mix. Then weave in diablo-style loot, prince of persia-style platforming, god of war-style combat and zelda-style puzzles and dungeons. . . unlike trail mix. Stir well for two and a half years and presto! Out pops Darksiders 2. And it all tastes great.

Over the course of twenty two hours or so, you play as Death, one of the four horsemen (and one woman) of the apocalypse. These guys had one job to do, and they couldn't even get that right. Someone, or something, rang the end times bell a little early and only War showed up to the party. Naturally War takes all the blame and is sentenced to purgatory. 

 

And they called him "Hookster McMurderface."

DS2's main story focus is on Death and his efforts to resurrect humanity to clear his brother's name. Anyone who skipped War's chapter is never let in on why the Apocalypse happened and rightly so. Darksiders was a damn fine game and anyone left scratching their head at the end of DS2 has only themselves to blame. you'd be surprised at how good the story actually is and you'd be ruining the little “hey it's that guy!” moments sprinkled throughout the game.

   

But either way, the story you get from this game is handled by a small troupe of fine actors. None of which take themselves too seriously and each always find the right way to read a line. A special shout out goes to Michael Wincott as Death. He knows how to be a raspy, no-nonsense, personification of loss. But you'll be amazed at the depth of character he creates with even simple line readings and I know he made me laugh out loud at least once. That's right folks, Death's kinda funny.

DS2 is the product of a rare and respectable kind of ambition. The kind kind that makes a sequel that at first glance looks identical to it's predecessor, but is actually almost a completely new experience. The first played at being non-linear, but the second time around, a good two thirds of the game are  entirely free roaming. There are side quests, there are secrets, and there is loot to be finished, discovered, and equipped. My hat goes off to Vigil Games as none of these activities ever feel like a grind. Find a ton of loot you don't want? You can sell it all for decent pocket money and always find something you can buy with it. Every activity feeds back into the other until you've had your fill and want to take on the main game.

Though you could have just stumbled onto one of the four or five “secret” dungeons and thought you were playing the main game. That's just the kind of mirror-sheen polish you can expect from this world. Even the side dishes feel like the entrée. 

 

That was the last food reference, hand to god.

I could go more into detail about the master class of animation and art direction on display here, but the linchpin in this already award worthy game is it's score. It always gives you what you expect, but in unexpected ways. You'll get a medieval choir for your trip into hell, but you'll also have a growling, otherworldly, techno-static baseline along with it. Some tracks are more overused than I would have liked, but when the music needs to swell to the action on screen, composer Jesper Kyd, of Assassin's Creed fame, moves in with a symphonic hay-maker. I mean blues guitar for an rag tag army of angels? It's f*king brilliant.

While I may have loved this game to pieces, it's not all puppies and sunshine. The final third of the game is a straight shot. No more hopping off your horse to go chest hunting anytime you want, you just gotta stick with the game's plan. Not to mention the end comes out of nowhere just when you think the finale was kicking into gear. But the New Game+ mode lets you bring all your loot and experience around for another ride. A feature that would have pushed my score to a perfect five, had the final moments not been so rushed and unsatisfying narrative wise.

As it stands, this is still one of the best games I've played in over a year, and you bet your ass I'll run through it again at least two more times.

Lets hear it for Rodney!

Shadowrun Returns, Why I think it looks Great.

If Terry Pratchett and Phillip K. Dick had a baby.

I'm a strange gamer. I love RPGs, but I hate typical fantasy tropes and design. I may have given New Vegas an 8 (initially) and Skyrim a perfect ten, but I've played Skyrim at least a third as much as I have the former. There are hundreds of reasons why that happened. One, Obsidian knows how to direct voice actors and how to build a character arc, and two, I'd seen practically everything Skyrim had to show me before in several other games. The fact that Shadowrun first appeared on the Sega Genesis is depressing. Cyber punk dwarves and elves? The additional fact that satire of the classic fantasy setting is that old makes me sadder than I can express in print.

It looks funny, the reviews are solid, the art direction is the perfect balance of somber and whimsical, and the animation is silky smooth. I want it. Simple as that. This kind of work deserves patronage.

Podcast Review: I wanna Live in Harmontown.

Why yes, they are schlitzed out of their minds.

It's no secret I'm a huge fan of NBC's Community.  And when that  bubbling crock pot of drama that is the twilight years of said network got the show's creator kicked off his post, I was left with a few questions about it. Mostly, what was Dan Harmon going to do next?

A podcast... yeah I wasn't sold on it at first either. Professional stand ups have a hard time keeping a podcast funny for over an hour, how could a writer/show runner pull that off? I love his work, but what would I think about his uncensored id in front of a live audience? The simple truth is that he's actually much funnier in some respects than Chris Hardwick or Marc Maron and if you can get past his increasingly awkward freestyle raps about mother f**king (along with the "toddler dance"), this is one of the best podcasts I've ever heard.

NOT safe for work. Look at me, both eyes. Not.

Turns out, a drunk Dan Harmon and Jeff Davis are more articulate and funny than I could hope to be at the best of times. Whether Dan is reading from his vaguely sociopathic teenage journal or Jeff is recanting how having his name gets him free stuff in South Carolina, these guys rarely have nothing to say. Or they'll make having nothing to say funny somehow. Its fascinating to see the ways in which they make talking about nothing marginally profound. Marginally. Dan has a habit of making sh*t real out of nowhere, yet always manages to bring the room back almost immediately. Took me a while to realize that's exactly what I loved about Community in the first place. A perfect marriage of tragic honesty with a gleeful sense of humor. Did I mention they're drunk off their ass for most of this?

The man really knows how to work a room, its a room full of avid fans, but still. The audience is always as much of a part of the show as either Dan or Jeff or Erin McGathy if she's feelin' it. Though there is this one dude called Adam that rushes the stage more often than not. I personally think he's funny in a David Sedaris kind of way, but you do get the sense he's constantly riding Jeff's last nerve and neither host is ever convinced of his sanity. It's never as much of a buzz kill as I must have made it sound... but you do feel like Dan's worried about the guy, and I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't put a damper on things sometimes.

It's called "Pringles Dick." 

Wear some headphones if the thought hasn't already occurred.

Normally I'd tell you about the best jumping on points in its 60+ library, but the show has a fair amount of continuity and in jokes, mostly due to it's long running D&D campaign run by Spencer Crittenden. It's like drunk kitchen but with rage dwarves and a bored Ryan Stiles that one time. Lets just say its my kind of game of D&D, where its taken just seriously enough to make sense and that's about it. The name Sharpie Buttsalot tells you all you need to know.

So I say start at the beginning, but if you're still unsure/disturbed by the rap, start with Turtle Panties.  Patton Oswalt scares Dan and Eric Idle pops out of nowhere and sings a song. Its glorious. I'm happy I've come across Harmontown for all this alone, but you do finally get a satisfying peek behind the BS of the Harmon/Chase feud. I don't remember what episode that was, but the way he tells it, they're both bigger men than I thought... and Peirce is a carbon copy of Chase's sense of humor, apparently (I had a feeling).

So try to swing by Harmontown, you might not want to leave.

Ha Ha! Rowsdowr.com, adventure!