So... AC Syndicate won't even launch...

I see them all the time on message boards, those poor bastards that can't even get their game to start! I always felt for them, even if I'd never actually had that problem. Well here we go, this is the third time I've restarted my  computer and... yep. that exe. just stalls out 9000k. Worthless.

I mean, I got it free with my 980, but still. This sucks, I heard this one was actually a step forward...

(update) I re-downloaded and re-installed. Yet it's exactly the same and no one else seems to be dealing with this... dammit.

The Fallout 4 lost weekend butcher's bill:

12 Caribu coffe k-cups:

2 boxes of Keebler Club Crackers:

I thought, "hey! tea and crackers. That sounds good." I innocently put a sleeve next to my mug and then... it was gone.

17 bags of Twinings Earl Grey:

...all gone.

6 bags of Sleepy Time:

A serving size was what? 4. 4 goddamn crackers. The hell are you trying to pull, Keebler?!

18 baby portobello mushrooms:

8 Links of Chicken Sausage

What I can only describe as a crate of spinach:

2 goddamn pounds of penne

2 whole frickin' jars of bertolli

Are all the food groups recognized?  I don't want to think about it.

Fallout 4 review incoming!

I rather like it. Both the game and the first 5 paragraphs of my review. Lemmie just say that I don't understand all the negativity floating around. Obviously Fallout isn't everyone's bag, but as for all the folks who keep gabbing on about how this essentially the same game as 3 and new vegas?

I'm sorry, I'm confused. It's Fallout. Were you expecting Far Cry 5? Help me out here, guys. Because after emerging bleary eyed and emaciated after my 3 day weekend; all I could think of was that this was the best game I'd played in over 2 years.

The Crackpot will be taking a brief hiatus for no reason in particular.

...That is all.

Don't feed the supermutant trolls.

So... some jerk broke the Fallout 4 review embargo and had some allegedly nasty things to say about it. I say allegedly, because that shiz went down so fast reddit's head spun. I remember a similar thing happened for New Vegas. The dude only talked about stuff he could have easily gleaned from trailers and was just negative to the point where no professional review was even close to matching.

It was just too cruel to be true and New Vegas went on to be my most favoritist'est' game ever. All was well. Though in this case, the review's title "the danger's of hype" smacks of something a wee more credible. I haven't seen the review... but I have seen the leaks. I'm thinking maybe he has a point. The animation is still god-awful and the acting and dialogue is right back to Bethesda's constant level of "meh." Never bad but always frustratingly inert.

From what I've seen anyway.

But what if this guy was cashing in on being the first review? What would be the way to get the most attention for that sort of thing? By going against the grain and confirming our worst fears. Becoming a critical prophet of doom on the most ravenously in demand RPG in years. We expect to see 9's and 10's not a soul crushing 7.

So this could all be a cynical crock; but given how there's been a practical iron curtain over this game, and how Bethesda didn't let anyone actually play it before the review copies were sent out gives me pause.

Dark, depressing, agonizing, pause.

Goodbye Arkham Knight.

If I'm being brutally honest... Knight was the worst game in the series. I've always thought Origins got a bad rep mostly because it felt like too much of a retread. But I'd take O's killer premise and Christmas aesthetic over it's bloated, bored, and undercooked next of kin.

The performance wasn't a deal breaker for me, it ran no worse than Black Flag. But aside from a few new tricks for stealth combat and a couple fun batmoblie puzzles, so much felt shoehorned. We didn't need two face or penguin. They didn't matter and they weren't worth the disk space. And everyone saw the red hood twist coming 10 miles away.

So I returned it. I've never had the opportunity to return a digital game for cash and I'm taking it. I sincerely doubt I'd ever feel compelled to ever play it again.

Bethesda bans 20 minutes of Fallout 4. Microsoft releases 2 hours of Tomb Raider...

And no one cares. Nobody cares about Tomb Raider reboot 2 right now! Look, I loved the katniss-esque empowered revision of Tomb Raider. Loved it. But guess what you're not? You're not Fallout 4. I'd bend the knee and move in with Fallout 4. Tomb Raider... you're going to die on the vine on the 10th. You're the only one that doesn't seem to notice.

Becoming an Xbox exclusive was a bold move, but even you knew how stupid that was seeing as how you'll be across all platforms in a year. You can't fight F4 and Call of Duty AND Halo. You. Can't. We all want what's best for you, so why'd you have to jump off a cliff like that?

J-Stew's Back!

Or he will be, having just signed a 4 year deal with HBO. The Last Week Tonight crossover event is inevitable!

WB interactive has thrown up it's hands and caved in.

Did you buy a PC version of Arkham Knight and are still pretty bummed about it's performance? Were the long months of hard work by their QA team ultimately pointless? Is it running worse than it did at launch?

Well... FINE! They didn't need your business anyway. Is is 2016 yet? No? Then HERE. Have your money back. All of it. Will that shut you up? Will that quell the incessant tide of mean comments and emails? Probably not, but I'm in the unique position of getting $60 back on a game I'll probably never play again.

I'm usually on the side of developers having to bow down to ridiculous deadlines set by clueless shareholders... but they really shit the bed on this one. Even my mighty 980 has serious trouble with the nvidea effects in there. Which means only people with cards upwards of $600 can even use them! That can't be more than a 7th of the player base. If the game is designed from the ground up to run at only 30 FPS...


..it shouldn't be on the PC at all.

New Vegas Easter eggs roundup!

You play a game for 5 years, you think you've seen it all. I was wrong, camelworks's videos found loads of junk I'd never heard about. Did you know that the canon lone wanderer is in new vegas? Possibly?

It's good stuff.

Here, have some lovely Fallout 4 concept art!

Nerdist has a peak at Adam Adamowicz, Ray Lederer, Ilya Nazarov, and John Gravato's tremendous work for Fallout 4. There's some clay models in there that just give me the shivers. I had let the air out of my hype tires some time ago, but right now? They're ready to roll.

GOD, TWO MORE WEEKS! Why?

This is gonna be rough.

Dungeon of the Endless Ain't Dead!

They have a lovely little Halloween update with more on the way. We got a new secret merchant hiding out in there somewhere and a couple enemy AI tweaks. If you're interested in turn based anything you should take a hard look at this polished little gem. Seriously, a year later they're still globbin' stuff on to it.

So... yeah! Still a fan.

I have super-duper secret Fallout 4 News!

No news is good news... right?

Except that I don't. Nobody does. A animated series on the S.P.E.C.I.A.L system? Great. A 15 second teaser for the Big League perk? Fine. Achievement list leak? Pedestrian. The first page of the manual that just describes the button mapping? Desperate.

Bethesda has kept the news stream about this game down to a torturous drip. The thing is... no critic has actually played the game yet. I think they were shown a closed doors expo a while back and everyone loved it, but nobody has kicked it's tires.

We've heard big talk about how ahead of schedule they were, how the game was finished the exact second it was announced. Let's hope this vow of silence is to preserve surprise and nothing else. May your inevitable bugs be cosmetic, Fallout 4. We're all ready for you.

Also the next Tomb Raider is launching the same day. That's just... stupid.