Coloring in History

I just got done with a hell of a week. 8 days straight, 57 work hours over 2 jobs. Wanna know how I dealt with it? I cheated. I cheated at Civ 6. I got hammered and played perfect games and I know I should feel a little guilty. But I don't. It was awesome, though I concede I wasn't actually playing Civilization VI.

If I was, every turn would carry a tinge of regret over my decisions mixed with a shudder of fear over Montezuma's troop movements. I can see what you're doing Monty, cut that sh*t out! Civ is stressful it's actually something I love most about it. But sometimes I can't deal. Sometimes I just wanna color in the fog of war and I don't want anyone standing in my way.

I had an ex that loved adult coloring books and that's the closest analogy I can think of. A theater square here, a Chichen Itza there, and soon several calming gaming hours have passed. I can forget about the cloth napkin shortage, the broken freezer crisis, the Camry title card affair, and dead Russian ambassadors. I've turned one of the greatest strategy games ever made* into a zen garden. You know what the funniest thing about it is? Even with all the money, luxuries, oil, and iron in the world; Peter the Great still managed to pull from behind and out-culture my ass. Say what you want about Civ's AI, it's still capable of some pretty cunning sh*t.


*it's already better than Civ V and after an expansion or 2... I can't even imagine.

The Magicians is still good. Enough.

"So do you need me to be weirdly sexual or sexually weird? Both? At the same time? Got it."

The magicians continues to be a show that both surprises and confuses me. It's perfectly watchable, has a fun premise, solid main cast, and regularly upends it's status quo just as it gets boring. But my issues I with its first season persist. Penny's lack of a character arc or anything outside of "the asshole" mold is REALLY getting on my nerves. His one thing was that he was a super special teleporter and he can't even do that anymore.

On the plus side, episode 3 was literally a season finale, full stop. That was awesome. Though the special effects are still pretty rough and will not age well. At all. Elliot and Margo continue to stand out because the show is now fully aware Elliot's it's best character and Summer Bishil is it's best actor. The Magicians could become the Elliot and Margo Hour and I would be fine with it. Seriously, Bishil's gonna be a star.

A mark of a great show is one that replaces dead characters with better ones. M*A*S*H did it, Parks and Rec did it, and I hope the cast shake up is treated like a chance to improve. Because it desperately needs to improve. Their are mountains of  pointless talking scenes and droves of amateur secondary actors. I'm not demanding Game of Thrones attention to detail but they need a different casting directer. That faun-lady was PAINFUL. 

As my punishment...

That moon wants to eat you.

Chance said last week that since my memory of Dead Space 3 was rosier than his, I should have to play it right after 2 as my punishment. So far, I'm digging it. The opening act sets up a decent mystery and the performances are a little sharper. 2 did not age as well in my eyes. For all of 3's many irritating choices it gives the trilogy a worthy finale. At least story wise. Excluding the Ellie love triangle bullshit.  

We did it.

We finally live to see the day where elegant robots actually exist. Whichever way this technology goes be it a peaceful utopia or despotic nightmare; we will at least know we made badass robots. And it will feel worth it.

Legion Review: What Time is It?

The last 2 seasons of Fargo have given Breaking Bad a deadly serious run for their money. They were great self contained thrillers with deep characters, gorgeous cinematography, and a script so tight it might as well have been shrink wrapped.

Noah Hawley has new fish to fry. He's been given the reigns to the X-Men franchise and he has made something truly, deeply, weird. Schizophrenia isn't something to be taken lightly, that is something this show gets out of the way pretty early. David may be the most powerful X-Man in the world of comics, but here he's just another psychiatric patient. One thing I do admire is how this show doesn't shy away from how much David suffers. His breaks from reality into red tinged velvet hellscapes become almost painful to look at. I imagine they would be quite a bit more painful to live through.

Dan Stevens as David is a young Sam Rockwell. Contrasting his dangerous sociopath from The Guest to this it's not hard to see golden statues in his future. Then again, I'd have bet Rockwell would have at least one by now. At any rate, he nails the sweet spot of making David just relatable enough to be the protagonist, but you still understand why his fiancee left him. Up next is Rachel Keller as another possible insane mutant who can't be touched and with whom David shares an adorable platonic romance. I'll have to apologize to Aubrey Plaza, because as much as I loved her as April in Parks&Rec, I thought she was her only character. As Lenny she's an ADHD verbal racket ball who again; is just goofy enough to be funny, but you get why she's inside. IMDB only has her on for 3 episodes so I'm already going to miss her. That's how much fun she looks like she's having.

When Legion is at it's best it's a cocktail of The Prisoner and One Flew Over The Cuckoo's nest. When it's not it's... well, an X-Men show. The action finale was a huge let down. 5 minutes of stuntmen lining up politely to be blown away on wires. For a show that had been, I'll say it, visionary for the most part to become so predictable in the end really shook me. It's a good show and I'm gonna ride the season out regardless. But I'm not ready to love it. I need at least one great episode for that and I like my chances.

How do you feel?

Psychonauts Lives.

I think I'm too young for nostalgia, but I'm pretty sure what I felt when seeing Psychonauts 2 for the first time is what has been fueling the reboot craze for years. I squeaked. I squeaked like a squirrel on coke. I saw Psychonauts the way it looked in my head and not as an 11 year old adventure game. The swaying trees, the blowing leaves, and Raz's mosquito slapping idle animation all gave me a slight chill. It's real now. I've wanted Psychonauts 2 for a decade but I didn't believe it was all going to come together until this. This FIG business makes me uneasy, but if it gets us to Psychonuats 3... I don't really care how they pull it off.

Barring humanitarian crimes or something. Like a Team Bondi sitch'.

Calorie-fu

I'm an over eater, it's been that since middle school. The trick for me nowadays is eat the exact same amount of food I used to, but with a fraction of the calories. For instance, Kraft mac and cheese. A box of that junk fully prepared is about 1,300 calories. I've found a way to bring that down to around 800. I fill a skillet with a cup of water and two cups of skim milk. Cook on high for 5 minutes and simmer on medium for 6. I usually mix in some sauteed mushrooms or sweet peppers or sumthin' then. A dash of sriracha to thicken near the end and... yeah. Sriracha mac and cheese.